Page 32 of Capacity
“I don’t understand. You see yourself every day. You have to know how gorgeous you are, Lumi.”
She shrugged her dainty shoulders and tugged at the bottoms of her sleeves, holding the extra material against her palms with the tips of her fingers. Her knee bounced up and down and her gaze danced around the room.
“I don’t feel beautiful. I gained weight when I was pregnant and even though I lost most of it, some things won’t ever go away.” She pinched at a sparse love handle at her waist and all I could imagine was grabbing hold of her softness while I fucked her from behind. That little ass love handle didn’t stop my dick from getting hard. It honestly might have made it harder. “After I had Kaiden, I didn’t think about being beautiful or being with a man. I focused on being a good mother.”
“I can understand that,” I nodded. “You shouldn’t let that prick steal your self-confidence though. You’re beautiful inside and out. I wouldn’t be so drawn to you if you weren’t such a stunning human being. I’ve seen the way you care about the students and the staff. You’re such a bright light.” I smiled a little and slid my hand around to the back of her neck, giving her a squeeze, but pulling her closer at the same time.
“Thank you, Knight. Sometimes I feel like I contain all the darkness in the world inside of me, so hearing that someone thinks I’m a bright light is…nice.”
“It’s true.” I traced the fine hairs at the nape of her neck and imagined all the ways I’d photograph her if given the chance. I would compose an entire shoot of her being caught off-guard because that’s when her beauty really shone. I wanted to snap pictures of her profile so the regality of her cheekbones would pop. I wanted to shoot her from above so I could capture the pitch-dark fringe of her long lashes while she looked down. I wanted to capture her from straight forward so I could snag the magic in her emerald-honey eyes.
My thumb slid around to her tight jawline, working the silky skin. Lumi’s lips parted and she sucked in a breath too big for her to take all at once. She broke the inhale into staggered pieces that were easier to digest.
The living room was dead quiet in the wake of how I touched her. I shouldn’t have touched her that way. Like she belonged to me. Like I was certain of what I wanted. I knew better. I wasn’t out of my own darkness and here I was letting the hungry, carnal side of me run wild.
I’d give anything to taste Lumi though.
“Knight…” she called out so soft and breathy. It made my dick hard in an instant. “I know we’re supposed to be friends but…” I stopped her words abruptly by leaning in and tasting her lips. I swept my tongue over them before letting mine melt against hers like rain on sugar. I pulled her bottom lip into my mouth first then her top lip, tasting each one equally. Separately. Hungrily.
At first, she froze, letting me kiss her and taste her sweet lips. Once I cupped her jaw and coaxed her closer, her body relaxed and she met my tongue with hers. She tasted like iced tea and sugar and I had one hell of a sweet tooth.
My dick throbbed, pressing against the fly of my slacks like a raging bull kept in a cage. I knew better than to pull Lumi on my lap because I didn’t know if I’d be able to control myself. Her sitting beside me, knees bumped up against mine, and her leaning into my space was perfect.
I licked into her warm mouth, teasing her timid tongue before sucking and nibbling her lips. My skin buzzed with lightning and heat when I slid my hands down to her slender waist. My fingers dug into the love handles she pointed out with ravenous possessiveness. She let out a small whimper and I devoured it whole like icing on a cupcake. So fucking sweet.
I had to stop before I went too far.
I hadn’t touched a woman since whatever happened between me and the eighteen-year-old but I hadn’t kissed a woman the way I was kissing Lumi since Hazel was alive. Thinking about Hazel made my heart slip a little in my chest and I pulled away from Lumi, breaking the heated kiss. Her eyes stayed closed for a moment before she finally looked at me.
“Fuck…” I groaned, pushing a frustrated hand through my hair. “I am so sorry, Lumi. I swore up and down we were friends and that I’d be professional and…”
“And that shit went right out the window.” She cleared her throat and looked down at her toes. I tipped her chin up and slid my thumb across her bottom lip. It was still wet from our kiss.
“You are so insanely beautiful I…I lost track of what was important. Our friendship means something to me. I know you’re dealing with a lot and so am I.”
“You didn’t mean to kiss me. I got it.” An ice wall erected around her in a matter of milliseconds making me feel like smeared shit.
“Imeantto kiss you,” I said, furling my eyebrows together. “I couldn’t help myself though. It was impulsive and…” That time she shut me up with her lips.
We were a collision of lips and tongues. I swallowed every tiny noise she made against my mouth. She was a buffet of sounds and textures that drove my senses wild and made my body ache.
“I think I wanted you to kiss me,” she panted against my lips. I’d never felt anything softer than Lumi. Nothing fuller or tighter beneath my fingers.
“I’m pretty sure that means we’re more than just friends.” I dropped my hands from her waist down to her hips and marveled at the way they flared out from her waistline.
Fuck, she was sexy as hell. How did she not see that? Why was I trying to ignore it?
“Friends who kiss?” She quizzed in a cute-as-hell way. I gripped the back of her neck and moved her closer to me. Close enough for me to kiss her again.
“Friends who kiss,” I agreed. My forehead pressed against hers while her fingers threaded through my hair. “Lumi, I don’t know if I’m equipped to be everything you deserve.”
“I don’t deserve much.” Her words ripped my heart out and stomped on it.
Didn’t deserve much?She deserved the world. The light and kindness inside her were astounding. They radiated from her and everyone saw it. Not just me. The students loved her and so did every teacher, custodian, and administrator.
“What?” I scoffed, disbelief potent in my voice. “Lumi you deserve so much more than what I can give. That’s why I only wanted to be friends because frankly, I’m not good enough to date a woman like you.” My throat tightened in the face of my own inadequacies.
The smooth space between her brows creased and she shook her head. “I’m not ready for a relationship, Knight but whatever this is between us…this friendship, this closeness, this warmth. I need it and I only feel this comfortable with you. If you weren’t good enough for me, whatever the hell that means, then I wouldn’t let down my guard around you at all. I’ve been through a lot and the only people my guard falls for are my mother and Coco. You’re on that list now too.”
