Page 14 of Capacity
“I became an RN when I was twenty-five,” I told him. “I turned forty this year. Fifteen years of experience,” I said with a polite smile.
“You are not forty,” he laughed, tipping back in his leather chair. His eyes took a quick trip around my face then held my gaze expertly. Heat simmered beneath my collar as I adjusted my position.
“I am. My birthday is on September…”
“Fourteenth,” he said finishing my statement. “Okay so now I know you don’t age. Tell me about your job history. I see here you’ve worked in private practice offices but you held your most recent job as head emergency nurse for ten years.” He flipped the page then looked at me again. “Why did you leave your last job in Texas?”
That was the question I’d been dreading.
It hit me with a thud that knocked the wind out of me. My lungs turned stiff and useless. I twisted my fingers in my lap, wringing them left then right as perspiration slicked my palms. I had to answer his question.
I couldn’t hide from what happened but it felt too personal to say out loud in this office with this man I barely knew. I pressed the heels of my hands into my thighs and sucked in a short breath.
“I resigned,” I began slowly. “I couldn’t handle working in the emergency room anymore.” My wet my dry lips and tried to hold my hands still so they wouldn’t tremble. Maybe doing this interview wasn’t a great idea. I was still a basket case. It didn’t matter how much time passed since Kaiden died. Time didn’t heal like I thought it would. It only made me realize how long it had been since I heard his voice and saw his face.
Mr. Cunningham sat quietly in his chair as if he recognized my need to speak slowly. I appreciated his patience because I was floundering hard.
“My son died while I was on the clock. He had to come to my hospital to be pronounced dead.” God, did that sound as heavy as it felt? It felt like it weighed ten tons and sucked the air from the small office.
“Holy shit,” Mr. Cunningham blurted, rubbing his hands over his face. It was a real reaction. I wasn’t used to those anymore. I was used to the somber apologies and the tight-lipped smiles.
Mr. Cunningham didn’t do any of that. He reacted like a real human being. It helped brush away some of the pins and needles collecting beneath my skin.
“Ms. Foster, I am so sorry you had to go through that. I can’t imagine…I just…I have no words.” He stared off for a few moments then looked at me again. His own sadness roared behind his eyes. “I understand wanting to step away from the emergency room after that. Hell, I understand wanting to step away from life.”
I tried to step away from life on my birthday…it didn’t work.
“Nursing is my life. I can’t step away from it completely but I’d love to still help people. I want to make a difference. What better place to start than with the youth?”
“You’re absolutely right. I think your laid-back personality will vibe well with the students. They hate when adults try too hard.” His laugh was soft but warm and it flowed over the cracks beneath my surface.
“That’s definitely not me.”
“I can tell.” He nodded, threading his long, thick fingers together. His nails were short and clean. Like he cared about his appearance and wanted to be put together.
“Can you?” I lifted an eyebrow. My words came out before I could run them through my internal filter. They came out thick as honey and just as sweet. My cheeks tingled with warmth.
“I can,” he nodded, his voice turning gruff. Or maybe I was imagining how his voice sounded when it turned gruff. Either way, I blinked away the fog in my head looked at him. “I can tell you’re very intelligent.” He tapped his pen on the desk then continued. “I can tell you’re honest and you have an amazing heart.” He drew in a breath then stopped talking but I could tell he had so much more he wanted to say and I wanted to hear it.
“You can tell all that by interviewing me or are you going based on what you saw last night?” I quipped, my lips burning to release a genuine smile. My brain refused to cooperate though.
Mr. Cunningham’s cheeks reddened and he stared down at his hands. “I know we met under totally different circumstances last night, Ms. Foster. I swear to you I’m professional and I’m not a creep.” He made the most adorable face with his blond brows pitched high on his forehead and his blue eyes pleading.
“I don’t think you’re a creep,” I chuckled.
“Wait. Hold on…” He shook his head and eyed me with a devastating grin hanging on his lips. “Is that a genuine smile and laugh?” His enthusiasm brought out another chuckle that even I was surprised to hear.
“I’ve been known to laugh and smile occasionally,” I told him with a shrug.
“Nah, I don’t believe it. I had to bribe you to get a phony smile last night.” His eyes narrowed a bit. Subtle fine lines fanned outward.
“It wasn’t phony.”
“Itwasphony. It’s okay though, now I know what your fake smile looks like.” He snared me in his stare. “But I like the real smile better.”
Flames kissed my cheeks.
How long had it been since I’d been in the company of a man this fine? Maybe Coco was right. I needed to get out more.
