Page 10 of North
“North, hey.” I paused and offered Melanie an apologetic smile. “Excuse me for a moment.” I moved from behind the counter I felt the heat of steel-gray eyes on my back.
“So there’s nothing in this fucking town. No Target, no Walmart…nothing.”
“I tried to tell you earlier but you were hell-bent on going out by yourself.” She cocked a scarlet brow up at me and I smirked a little. “You need a ride to the store?”
“Yes.” She folded her arms and tilted her red-tipped nose in the air.
“Give me a second.” I told Elijah to take over the gallery for the rest of the day then I looked at Melanie who was still waiting on an answer from me about lunch. “Can we do a rain check? I have to take my daughter somewhere. Maybe we can grab coffee tomorrow.” I shrugged on my jacket and grabbed my keys and phone.
Melanie looked at Elijah for a moment like she wasn’t above shooting him an invitation to lunch since I didn’t accept. “Oh, sure. That would be wonderful. Coffee tomorrow.” She walked past North and offered a smile that was much tighter than the one she flashed my way. North barely gave her a glance in return.
“Come on, Shortcake, let’s hit the road.” I guided her outside with my hand on the small of her back and caught the slightest glimpse of a smile quirking up the corners of her pink lips.
It was a start in the right direction.
…
CHAPTER 5
The silence between Dad and me couldn’t swell anymore. If it did, it would pry the roof from his truck and glop onto the streets turning all the fluffy white snow to puddles.
I found myself stealing glances at him as he drove. I wanted to break the tension but every time I thought about it, I felt the sting of his absence over the past year. So instead of talking, I stared at his angled jaw. It was so perfect I swore God used a mathematical equation to create it.
I wasn’t the only one who noticed how strikingly handsome my father was. The blonde in his gallery noticed too. She sized me up like we were peers vying for the same dick. It ruffled my feathers.
During one of my creepy staring sessions, Dad turned his gemstone eyes on me. “We should talk about arrangements for your mother.” His Adam’s apple wobbled in his throat. I traced the veins beneath his skin then lowered my stare and found the same veins running along his muscled forearms. I wanted to push the sleeves of his leather jacket up and slide my fingers over them, skating through the tufts of chocolate hair.
I snapped those thoughts shut and shoved them into a box that I padlocked and kicked in the back of my mind.
Mom.
He wanted to talk about Mom.
“Like what?” I said, shoving my frozen hands in my pockets. He had the heat on in the truck but it did nothing to slice through the cold. “A funeral?” I barked out a harsh laugh at the thought of it. “You were the only family we had. My grandparents are dead, I’m an only child, and…” My voice weakened as I thought about the one person I’d rather not speak of. Even the thought of him had my stomach roiling like I might vomit and lose the delicious breakfast from this morning.
Dad’s grip tightened around the steering wheel, letting me know he could read my mind without me saying a word. He knew my apprehension was because of my biological father. He was a horrible human being who didn’t deserve to be mentioned.
Even though Dad divorced Mom and moved an hour away, he was still a better person than my sperm donor could ever hope to be. I crossed my arms over my body and looked out of the window. Flashes of white moved alongside us. Rocky mountaintops splashed against the pinkish-blue scape of the sky.
“Fuck him,” Dad spat angrily. “Your biological dad is not a factor.”
Thoughts of my sperm donor were bitter sliding down my throat. I’d only seen the man twice in my life and I hated him. It was such a red-hot hate that my body began to quake with anger. He was an addict too. Only he decided to leave Mom the minute she found out she was having me. He left and never came back. I was less than nothing to him. I pressed my knees together and tried to purge the memories from my mind.
“We need to do something for Izzy. Just us,” Dad’s voice was softer pulling me back from the abyss I was tempted to dive headfirst into.
“Why? She never did anything for me.” I choked down the burning knot of pain and grief. It forced disobedient tears down my cheeks. I wiped them away with frustration pulling the muscles in my hands taut.
“She was a good mother until she let addiction take over.”
“Oh, and when was that, Dad? When did you notice it? Because I didn’t know how real shit was until Mom quit her job and left me to take care of everything. I wish like hell you would’ve pointed out the signs if you saw them.” Resentment, bitterness, and anger warred inside me. They barged through my ribs, permeated my lungs and stole the breath right from me.
“I did!” I never expected for his deep timber to thunder the way it did. I drew my shoulders around my ears and pressed my back flat against the heated seat. Dad pulled into a Target parking lot and let his head drop. Mahogany hair fell like a curtain across his profile.
My fingers ached to push the hair away. I wanted to see him. I wanted to see his pain because it spoke a language only the pain in me could hear. I may have been mad at him for leaving me but seeing him in agony made me realize we weren’t so different.
We were both dealing with conflict and grief. We both lived in a space where love and hate for Mom echoed in the air. I wanted to see the picture his anguish painted across those handsome features.
I moved my timid hand toward him and slid my thin fingers through his thick and silky strands. “North, I am so sorry I failed you.” His words echoed the pain on his face and mirrored the ache in my heart he caused when he walked out. “I knew when Izzy sold my paints and supplies that she wasn’t the woman I used to love.” His green eyes blared the saddest song. “I tried to get you to come with me.”
