Page 69 of North
“But you didn’t.” His eyes searched mine for a few seconds. It was long enough for me to see the pride shining through his irises. The way Kane looked at me made me feel like a goddess. My cheeks tingled under his stare.
“You’re right. I didn’t.” I shared his pride and wore it around my head like a golden crown. I chose to heal. Nothing could take the satisfaction of self-love away from me now.
I never had the pleasure of feeling loved before. Not the way I loved myself now and definitely not the way Kane loved me. My mother couldn’t love me and the one person I thought was my friend didn’t love me either but Kane? That man loved me from the freckles on my face to the toes on my feet. He didn’t have to shower me with gifts or flowers to show me either.
I felt it.
I saw it.
I breathed it.
Our love was everything.
It sustained me in my weakest times and nourished me back to health. Our love supported me on the nights where I felt less than nothing. Our love cheered in the background when depression cleared the stormy sky leaving behind rays of sunshine.
Now our love was building a foundation for us to raise our child on. We’d already overcome so much apart and together. It was time to pour everything we had, all the tough lessons we’d learned, and all the tender memories we’d created into our own little family.
I wasn’t born with great parents or a family that gave even half a fuck about me but I learned quickly that family is what you make it. It’s not always the blood ties you’re born into but the life ties you create along the way. Even if you have to unknot some of those ties and let go.
The family I built around me was what I needed and what I’d always longed for. I couldn’t wait to see how we grew together and I couldn’t wait to welcome our baby into a world that actually wanted him or her. I didn’t have that kind of luck but my kid would. They’d never know the ache of not having love from your mother or having an absent father.
No, my kid would have the best family I could offer. I knew we would see to it that the little one growing inside of me would have as much love as they could stand. It wouldn’t be perfect love but it would be true and truth trumps perfection every single time.
…
EPILOGUE
Something forced me from my sleep. I didn’t know what it was but I swear I felt a hand pull me upright in bed. I rubbed my eyes and looked at the space beside me. North was still there but her face was pinched in a pained expression. I smoothed red curls away from her face and watched her.
Ever since she hit the second trimester, she’d been wearing her crimson mane in its natural curly state. I loved it. I loved the ways this pregnancy changed her. Her curves were deeper, more exaggerated, and her face was fuller and softer but still beautiful as fuck.
“Wake up, Shortcake.” I leaned down and kissed her dewy forehead while my hand rested on her round belly. North was more stomach than body during her pregnancy. She hated it but I couldn’t get enough. There was nothing more amazing than watching my child grow inside her.
Her blue eyes shot open and a moan rumbled out of her. It wasn’t a pleasurable moan either. It was an achy moan full of discomfort.
I’d been on high alert since she hit thirty weeks and now she was ready to pop at thirty-seven weeks and I was a bundle of nerves. I helped her to an upright position, my hungry eyes falling to the curve of her breasts and the way they bounced free from the sheet draped over her body.
Ever since her third trimester started, she couldn’t stand to have on clothes and I wasn’t complaining. I’d painted her baby bump so many times I could do it in my sleep now.
“Kane,” she whined, clutching my arm. “I’m having contractions.”
That was all I needed to hear. I grabbed my phone and started timing them like the nurse taught me. They got closer and closer until North was a wall of tense muscles spiked with colorful curse words.
“Get my hospital bag,” she gritted out, hoisting herself to her feet. She was in the throes of another contraction and she needed to move around. I nodded with a dry mouth and slung the red duffle bag over my body. “Call the nurse practitioner.”
I waved my phone at her and showed her I was already on top of it. The line was ringing as she waddled to the dresser for clothes. I’d been sleeping in basketball shorts and a t-shirt since she started having Braxton Hicks. I wanted to be able to hop up and leave if necessary.
I rattled off the timing of North’s contractions and her symptoms to the nurse once she finally picked up. She urged us to come in once she heard the cry North belted out. She said she’d have the ER staff on alert.
It was hell getting North down the steps and to the truck. She was in so much pain my midsection started to ache sympathetically. My girl was tough though. She gritted her teeth and growled like a warrior through each wave of pain and pressure.
Once she was in the truck safely, I sent out a text to Melanie and Elijah telling them it was go-time. Everything was happening so fast. I was only operating on fumes. I had no idea how I drove us to the hospital in one piece.
Like the nurse said, the ER staff was waiting for us with a wheelchair. North was smart and signed all the forms once she was halfway through her third trimester so we had a fast pass to labor and delivery.
It took ten minutes to get us prepped and in a room since nobody else was there at that hour. Thank god. I don’t think I could have waited.
Anxiety ran rampant through my body making me too hot and too cold at the same time. Making my palms sweat and my heart race. All I could think about was meeting my daughter.
