Page 4 of North
“Yeah, that’s me.” I shook her hand then waited with a lead stomach for the news I knew was coming.
“Your…” She glanced at the file on the computer screen then back at me. “Ex-wife Isabelle Fitzgerald died from a methamphetamine overdose. I’m so sorry. She was a good nurse when she worked here.” She doled out the appropriate level of sympathy before moving on and giving North and me the more grizzly details of how much meth Izzy must have consumed and the time they suspected she died.
The caseworker offered us grief counseling and kind words of understanding before looking into Izzy’s file and reading over it. “You’re her father, correct?”
“Yes, sir.” I handed him my driver’s license and watched him check it over. North pushed out a puff of breath through her nostrils.
“Very good. Thank you, Mr. Fitzgerald. North will be in your custody. Did you and Mrs. Fitzgerald have any custody arrangements?”
“No,” I fought the urge to look at North. I felt tension mounting in the room and I didn’t know how much longer it would hold until it popped pushing family information and dark secrets out.
The hospital let us go after I signed a few documents and retrieved Izzy’s bag of belongings. There wasn’t much inside, only her soiled bra and panties and a hair tie she had around her wrist. I looked over and over for the wedding band I’d given her.
That was back when I saw joy in her eyes and love in her smile. Back when North was a kid and she looked at me like I hung the moon instead of like I broke her heart.
“She pawned the ring,” North told me, clicking her seatbelt in place. I shut the bag and tossed it in the backseat. Even her underwear held traces of chemical stench. I hated the memories it forced to play in my head.
Memories of Izzy stealing from her patients at the hospital, taking their pills and swallowing them down like candy. Memories of her hiding the deepening addiction growing in her bones. Memories of her lying to North and me over and over. Leaving us home for days on end while she went on a binge.
“When did that happen?” I tried to keep my voice steady but the weight of losing Izzy was finally barreling down on me fast and hard.
“Yesterday. I noticed it was gone and she had a pale strip of skin where it used to be. It’s also when she came home with more meth than she’s had in a while.” North turned her head quickly but I saw the sad sparkle of tears in her denim eyes. I stared at the side of her face and mapped out the smattering of freckles dotting her cheek and jaw, trailing down her willowy neck.
“Why didn’t you tell me? I would’ve…”
“You would’vewhat, Dad? Drove down from your rich ski town to rescue us? To save Mom’s ring?” She laughed but there was no joy behind it.
I didn’t have anything else to say. I didn’t feel like arguing with North. She was hurting and I…well, I didn’t know how I felt.
I drove her back to Izzy’s apartment and North hopped out, speeding into the building. I was right on her heels because, after the hospital I didn’t trust her not to run away.
When I stepped over the threshold, the infamous chemical smell of meth assaulted me. My nostrils flared and my muscles tightened. While North grabbed clothes and belongings, I walked into the kitchen and saw a pack of cupcakes on the counter beside a loaf of bread and an unopened bottle of mustard. My heart stuttered then slipped further down in my chest when I noticed a single cupcake with one bite missing.
North appeared at the kitchen doorway with a bag slung across her body and a few more at her feet. “I’m ready,” she said, training her eyes on her shoes.
“I’m sorry this all happened on your birthday, Shortcake.”
“Don’t be. I don’t celebrate it for this reason. I know it’ll always end up being about her. She made sure that would be true for the rest of my life.” She dragged her stare up my body starting at my boots. She lingered on my eyes for a few moments before sweeping over my lips then down to my neck. Her gaze dispersed shortly afterwards but I’d be lying if I said her intense focus didn’t give me pause.
Was last year’s birthday running through her mind like it was mine?
“We can stop somewhere and have dinner before we get to Telluride. Everything there is closed right now.” I looked at my wristwatch and remembered I told Elijah I’d update him when I could.
“We don’t have to stop. Today isn’t special.” She grabbed her bags and headed out the front door. I didn’t miss the subtle rumbling of her stomach as she passed me.
We were stopping to get food.
After forty-five minutes on the road, I pulled over to a diner. It reminded me of the place I used to take North when Izzy would go on a binge and I wanted to see a smile on my girl’s freckled face. She looked at me, her features drawn into a question mark.
“Why are we here?”
“You’re hungry. Your stomach has been singing background for about ten songs now.” I killed the engine and hopped out. North let her blue-gray eyes flit around my face for a few seconds when I opened the door for her.
“Thanks. I am hungry.” When she walked ahead of me, I honed in on the fraying seams of her black coat. She needed me and I let my guilt mask it.
I scrubbed at my beard and caught up to her so I could open the door. There were no customers tucked away in the green vinyl booths and only two people sitting at the bar watching the news. We were in for another snowstorm promising four feet of snow. It would be worse in the mountains.
North slid in a booth and pulled the ratty brown hat off. Wild threads of silky crimson hovered around her head in a crown of static electricity. She slicked her hands down over her untamed hair and huffed at its disobedience.
