Page 18 of North
I snapped my mouth shut and followed the way his eyes honed in. He moved his stare quickly but my lips were still on fire from the way he’d watched them.
You were still calling him Dad last week, North.
I stuffed that annoying voice deep in a box while I let my thumb slide lazily from side to side on the back of his neck. I wanted to ignore everything that told me to stop touching him. It was such a simple touch but it felt so huge. It covered the entire room blocking every pinpoint of light.
Kane’s touch eased from my back to my hips.
My ears thumped with the steady firm sound of blood rushing through my veins and my heart pounding. I never knew staring at someone could make you feel like you just ran a marathon. I had no idea it could stir heart-pounding, electric energy. I couldn’t have been the only one who felt the tension building. Kane would’ve moved if he weren’t glued to my hips.
The crisp sound of the doorbell was loud as a gong in my ears even though it was all the way downstairs. Kane blinked repeatedly then scrambled off the bed.
“That’s probably Elijah. I’m gonna let him in. Come downstairs when you’re ready, okay?” He didn’t give me a chance to answer before he was out of the door and down the steps.
Maybe the charge I felt between us was all in my sick head.
I sat up slowly and groaned at the last bout of dizziness that overtook me. The migraine almost completely disappeared after Kane held me for twenty minutes. It was dull enough for Tylenol to handle.
I cracked the bottle of pills on the dresser and popped two. I sucked in a breath and looked at my reflection in the mirror. I saw hints of my mother staring back at me. I saw her blue eyes and red hair. I saw her freckles and bone structure.
Emotions struck my heart one after another like poison-tipped arrows.
Why couldn’t Mom just quit? I knew it was easier said than done but I would have helped her. If she committed to going to rehab and changing her life, I would have been right by her side. I’m sure Kane would have too. He did love her before she morphed into a stranger.
So did I.
I grit my teeth against the confusing thoughts fighting for space in my head and went downstairs.
Kane and Elijah were in the living room where pictures of Mom sat in glass and silver frames clustered together on the mantle. She looked so happy in every picture. I wondered who that woman was. I only saw her when she was high so I never stopped to consider how she looked happy because I always saw her at her worst.
I knew pleasant memories were hiding in the shadows of my mind high in the corners like cobwebs. I couldn’t access them as easily as I could all the bad ones.
Still, my heart ached and yearned for Mom to come back. For everything to have been an elaborate ploy to gain sympathy and money. Wrapping my head around her being gone was hard.
If I was smarter or not so exhausted all the time, I would’ve seen the signs that she was sliding downhill faster than I could catch her.
I dragged my finger across Mom’s wide smile in one of the pictures then I sighed, letting my shoulders rise and fall. I had to let go of the notion that I could’ve saved her. Kane said it best. She had to save herself and she didn’t.
“Hey, Shortcake come on over here and say hi to Elijah.” Kane’s warm smile pulled me to his side. I remembered meeting Elijah a handful of times when I was younger but once Mom’s addiction got worse and Kane stopped being so happy, Elijah stopped coming around. At the gallery, I never said more than hello to him before he was busy with a customer.
He shook my hand as a sympathetic smile pulled his full lips up. He was a handsome man with skin the color of copper, tawny brown curls and chocolate eyes. I wondered why Melanie didn’t go for him instead of Kane?
One look at Kane reminded me of why though. He had a spark deep inside of him that pulled people in like moths. It wasn’t one thing either. It wasn’t just his killer smile or beautiful eyes. It wasn’t his smooth olive skin dusted with freckles or his thick brown lashes. It was something he possessed that was unique to him and only him.
“Hey, North. I know I see you at the gallery but I’m always working. I’m sorry this had to be the occasion that brought us together.” His hug was gentle and kind. An unavoidable reminder that I lost my mother.
“Yeah, I wish we were here under happier circumstances.” I tugged at my shirt wondering if Elijah noticed I was too thin. I wondered if he judged my appearance.
I’d been eating everything I could get my hands on. I was proud of the three pounds I put on in a couple of weeks but now it felt invisible. I wrapped my arms around myself and rubbed my sides.
“This doesn’t have to be anything formal or long and drawn out. I only wanted to pay my last respects to Izzy and I’m sure North wants to as well. I made some food. It’s in the kitchen if you want some.” Kane tossed his arm around my shoulders and I turned my body into him hoping that with him draped across my shoulders I didn’t look as gaunt.
“Wait a damn minute, you cooked, Kane?” Elijah’s smile was playful and upbeat. His long legs carried him toward the kitchen in a blink.
“I put it in the oven then took it out. That qualifies as cooking, right?” His eyes darted from his best friend to me. I laughed behind my hand and shook my head.
“No, Kane. That’s called heating food up.”
“Isn’t cooking just heating food until it’s safe to eat? I mean I’m practically a chef by that definition.”
