Page 31 of North
When he got in beside me, I made sure to get in Elijah’s business. “So are Melanie and Elijah a thing now?”
“I don’t know if they’re a thing but they’re definitely fucking and now she’s out of my hair and not nearly as annoying.” His deep voice made me tingle everywhere. It didn’t matter what he was saying. Kane could’ve read me a booklet of terms and conditions and I would’ve listened intently.
“Good. That means she can stop trying to fuck you. That’s my job anyway.” I hooked my pinky with his and he gave mine a squeeze. Something so simple made my heart flutter.
“Oh yeah?” Kane laughed baring straight white teeth. “You talk big for someone so tiny.” Without looking at me, he reached over and tugged on my hair.
We pulled up at the same restaurant we always had lunch at and Kane got out to open my door. I still had on my green apron from work but I didn’t care as long as I was by his side. He made me feel beautiful no matter what I had on…or didn’t have on.
Once we were inside and seated, I stared at his golden-green eyes and shook my head slowly. “What?” He quizzed, lifting an eyebrow.
“I don’t see how Mom fucked things up with you. You’re perfect.”
“I’m far from perfect, North.”
“You’re perfect in all the practical ways, Kane. Not in the fairytale ways. You’re not afraid to admit when you’re wrong. You’re committed to bettering yourself. You’ll set your ego to the side to apologize and I don’t understand how she betrayed all of that. Being perfect isn’t about never making mistakes. It’s about being willing to admit the mistakes and fix them.” I stared at him, completely wrapped up in his green pools.
Kane’s Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat as he looked at me. I wondered if he could feel the admiration and adoration vibrating off me. He reached across the table and held my hand in his, rubbing his thumb across the freckles covering my knuckles.
“Sometimes people are too broken. Sometimes there’s no repairing them no matter how much you try. There was no repairing Izzy.”
I stared at our hands connected on the tabletop and nodded solemnly. He was right. There was no repairing her.
“I wish I knew that before I tried so hard.” I didn’t realize rebellious tears were skating down my cheeks until fat drops splashed onto the back of my hand.
“She was your mother, North. You would have done anything to save her. I know the feeling of fighting for your family. I lost myself trying to save my sister.” Hearing him mention Kristina made my heart weep. I couldn’t imagine losing a sibling let alone a twin. “Izzy was so much like Kristina that I had to pull away before I got scarred too deeply.”
“I’m sure it didn’t help matters when I kissed you,” I said quietly.
“I was running from what I knew I couldn’t have, North. I was so beaten down and confused I would’ve ended up doing something neither of us was ready for. Shit, we’re still not ready.” He ran a hand through his hair and pushed out a long breath. “Sometimes I don’t know what I’m doing with you,” he confessed.
“I don’t know either but I do know I’d rather do whatever this is with you than without you.”
It was the absolute truth too. I’d never felt anything so vivid. Before, my entire life was a series of grungy black and white events. I was so scared and angry at everything. Once I got closer to Kane and let go of some of the anger, my entire world lit up with color. I wondered if he knew he was an artist in more ways than one?
I never wanted to go back to what things were like before. Even if what we had was wrong, I’d take it over wallowing in loneliness and pain.
“Lately I feel like the universe is playing a cruel joke on us,” Kane chuckled dryly. “We’ve both lost so much and trekked through the mud of tragedy to finally find happiness in each other but…” His eyes grew distant as he stared at me. It made my chest throb with fear. I was terrified of thinking about life without him. I hated facing the reality that we couldn’t be together the way we wanted.
“Can’t we go off the grid? Just be free to do whatever the fuck we want.”
“I wish we could, baby.” The way his voice caressed that word had me squirming in my seat.
“We can. This is Colorado. You know how many mountains there are around here? We could disappear.”
“How would we eat? How would we make money? Where would we live?” Each question hit harder than the last. I grew quiet after I ordered my food. I got the same thing every time, a burger and fries with a cherry shake.
A few minutes after our plates came out, Kane nudged my knee under the table. “Come on, Shortcake. Talk to me. I know I poked holes in your off-the-grid plan but it’s only because I’ve thought about it more times than I can count. Riding off into the sunset with you. Not having a care in the world. Not having to worry about judgment or laws.” The frustration in his voice was thick. It mirrored how I felt on the inside.
“We have to figure something out,” I said quietly before shoving a French fry into my mouth.
“I know. I just wish I knew what. I don’t want to give this up.” He pointed between us with a long, thick finger. My mind wandered off to last night when that long finger was knuckle-deep inside of me pulling orgasm after orgasm from my soul.
“Me either.”
“We’ll figure something out. In the meantime, we’ll keep laying low and…”
“Keep doing everythingbutfucking?”
