Page 79 of Bear
“Like what? A wedding ring?” I couldn’t believe I actually said that shit. Bear had me wide open.
“My last name,” he said seriously. A knot swelled in my throat and I sat up to look at him. Everything below my navel sang with pleasure and soreness.
“Bear, you don’t have to make promises like that.”
“Why wouldn’t I?” He seemed genuinely confused as he eyed me. As much as I wanted to spend forever with him, I didn’t want him to rush into it. I knew love was a new concept to him. I understood the time it took to build trust and understanding in a new relationship.
On the flip side, I knew Bear.
Whenever he was sure of something, he rarely budged. He seemed to be sure about us. More sure than he’d been of anything.
“I don’t make empty promises,” he told me.
“I know.” I stood and went to the bathroom to start the shower. I felt the reminder of our intense fucking with every step I took.
The firm, steady spray from the hot water made every point on my body that Bear touched pulse. I thought he would follow me into the shower but he didn’t. I forgot who I was dealing with. He was a master at letting me have my space when I was upset.
Was I upset though?
I let the thought tumble around in my head for a few minutes then I sighed. I wasn’t upset. Not with Bear.
More than anything, I was nervous about him taking such a big leap. I knew I was ready. I felt the certainty of our love in my chest but what if Bear wasn’t as ready as he thought?
Hearing him profess his love for me so openly made flowers bloom in my chest. I was terrified that at some point the novelty would fade and a relationship wouldn’t seem so beautiful to Bear anymore.
Then what?
When I got out of the shower, I got dressed in a white t-shirt from Bear’s drawer and tied my damp hair up in a bun. I noticed that slowly but surely, my clothes were making an appearance in his drawers. I had two all to myself. My toiletries were closing in on top of the dresser beside his cologne and deodorant. The realization sent a small tingle through my body.
I was bleeding into his spaces. It was more than leaving my jacket on the arm of his couch. My intimate things were intertwining with his. My scent was mixing with his. I was tangling with Bear in a way I’d never done before and he was allowing it.
Welcoming it.
Making room for me.
Maybe he was more ready than I thought.
I padded down the hall and into the library where I found him sitting on the leather couch, reading a book on death of all things. His piercing gaze lifted to mine and I felt the same warmth I’d felt ever since I admitted to loving him, engulf me.
“You okay?” He quizzed.
“Yeah. I did some thinking in the shower.” I moved to his lap and he closed the book, resting his hands on my thighs. They felt so perfect right there I never wanted him to move.
“About?”
“Us.” I turned to look at him. My nose was inches away from his, my mouth was seconds away from brushing against his lips. I loved how connected I felt to him.
“What else is there to think about, Cecily? We’re together. You need to hear it laid all the way out? I can do that.” He gripped my ass in his hands and stared into my eyes. “I don’t want any other woman in the fucking world.
I was raised to think that love was weak and useless. Because of that, I thought I would never find love because I was incapable of loving. I mean…why wouldn’t I be? I didn’t have a mother, I was sentenced to live life under my father’s thumb and fated to be exactly like him. Who the fuck would love me?”
My soul burned listening to his words. It was like hearing his inner-child cry out after finally being set free.
“Once I realized that love wasn’t inconceivable for me…I was all in. I don’t need time to be free or any of that shit because I’ve done that already. I’ve had my chance to run through women like socks. I’ve been to parties and had all sorts of women in my bed. None of them meant a fucking thing to me. I don’t need more time to think about it.
I finally understand what all the love songs are about and they’re right. Being in love with you can’t compare to anything else in the world. I just need to know you’re going to be mine forever. Nobody else makes sense for me, Cecily.”
I shut my eyes and rested my forehead against his. I wasn’t expecting tears to fall, but they decided to make an appearance anyway.
