Page 59 of Bear
“That was never you, Bear. You just nevershowedyour heart. That’s why you’re such a cold motherfucker. It’s always been there though. How do you think I could tell you were in love with Cecily? I’d never met her before in my fucking life but the second I saw y’all in the same room, I knew. She made you happy. People without hearts don’t get happy.”
“I don’t know how to grapple with killing the only parent I’ve ever known.”
“You never talk about your mother. Where is she?”
The question scraped against a part of me I didn’t know was raw. I shrugged my shoulders and narrowed my eyes. “Dad always told me she died. I never believed him though. I saw how he took Hawk and Wolf from their mom because she was a junkie. He told them she overdosed but she came to the house begging to see them several times. She was high but he always turned her away. I remembered thinking that if he could lie to them then he could lie to me about my mother too.”
“You never looked for her?” He asked with a curious frown.
“Nah. Dad said don’t ask about her. Don’t worry about her. She’s gone. That’s how I lived my life. Like she was dead. I guess I got attached to Luanne instead.”
“Damn, Bear. You have to find her. If you think she’s alive, you need to look for her. What if your father took you from her like he did with your brothers?”
“I’m sure he did.” There was that scraping again. I hated it. It made me wish I’d never acknowledged my heart.
“We’ll get to that later but do you need anything from me as far as your father goes? You know I’m here for you. I’m only one person but I’m willing to get a little dirty.”
“Good. That’s what I was hoping you’d say.” A sly smile tugged on one side of my mouth and I slapped hands with Titan. A plan was spawning in my mind and once it finally came to fruition, all would be well in the kingdom again.
CECILY
“Wanna get some drinks after this?” Kareema and I sat in my parents’ living room while Dad made dinner and Mom stared at the TV. Every now and then, she’d call me Lane, her best friend. I tried not to let it get to me because she did correct herself whenever it happened but it still ached deep down inside.
“Maybe.” I decided to text Lane and have her come over since my mother kept mentioning her. I wondered if she knew how quickly Mom’s memory was deteriorating?
Me: Hey, Lane how are you? Are you busy?
Lane: No, not insanely busy. What’s up girly?
Me: Mom isn’t doing so well. She keeps calling me by your name. I thought maybe you could come over for dinner. I think she’d like that. She needs family right now.
Lane: I’ll be there in a little while.
That’s why I loved Lane so much. She wasn’t always around but whenever Mom needed her, she was there. It was the mark of a good friend.
“Are you thinking about Bear?” Kareema asked, playing with my ponytail.
“I’m always thinking about him.” I nibbled on my bottom lip and ran my tongue over the spot where he bit me earlier. Thoughts of him blared to life against my mind’s wishes. I hated how cold and angry he was earlier. Something had him riled up and that was the only reason I didn’t curse him out for yelling at me like that. Bear wasn’t the only one with a temper.
“I bet.” She poked the purple bruises on my neck and collarbones and my body sang a song full of praise for Bear and the way he fucked me earlier. God, I missed him and I’d only been away from him for the day.
My fingers itched to text him but I refrained I knew how Bear was when he was pissed off. It didn’t happen often because he always had everything under control but when it did, everyone knew to hide. I knew too.
I wanted things to be different once we decided to be official and we professed our undying love and all that shit. I should have known that nothing with Bear would be easy though. He didn’t get to be that way overnight and he damn sure wasn’t going to unravel all at once. Not for me. Not foranyone.
“Kareema, why don’t you have a boyfriend You’re so pretty and all that sass,” Mom shook her head and smiled at Kareema. She’d already asked her that question a couple times, but Kareema smiled and answered her again like it was the first time.
It hurt my heart too much to sit and listen to the questions go round and round so I went in the kitchen with Dad. “Hey, sweetheart. You doing okay?”
“Not really. I can’t tell if being off from work is helping or hurting Mom,” I sighed.
“I don’t think it’s doing her any favors. Bear and Griffon have been her world for Bear’s entire life. All the secrets she’s kept, all the things she’s had to stuff deep down inside, all the times she’s had to smile instead of cry…it’s taken a toll. I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s the reason her mind is starting to go at such a young age. She has literally given up her life for Bear.” Dad shook his head solemnly while my mind chewed on his words.
“You mean Mr. Griffon?” I asked, folding my arms. “Bear has only been in charge for seven years Dad. He hardly got this entire empire running alone.”
“I know. It’s just…Lu wouldn’t even still be there if it weren’t for Bear. It’s not his fault though. I don’t blame him one bit. He’s been groomed for this lifestyle from the time he was in his mother’s womb. Griff though…” Anger clouded Dad’s usually placid face. “I swear if Lu’s retirement comes with any trouble, you might see a different side of your father.”
“I don’t think Mr. Griffon will have a problem letting Mom retire,” I said with a shrug.
