Page 29 of Bear
I jumped up and turned on the lights to make sure I was losing my fucking mind. Cecily rubbed her sleepy brown eyes and looked up at me. “You have blood on your shirt.” I looked down and noticed dried dots of blood dancing between the black and white stripes on my shirt.
“I could use a shower,” I commented. “I thought you’d be gone.”
“I thought I’d be gone too. Mom asked me to stay. She said when siblings fight, they have to work that shit out.” Cecily paused and shrugged. “I’m paraphrasing but you get it.”
“I do. Did you have any nightmares?” I unbuttoned my shirt, eager to get away from the blood of others.
“No, actually. Once I got to sleep, I slept like a baby.”
“Good. I’m glad to hear it. Mind if we talk for a minute after I get out of the shower?”
“Of course not.” She smiled a little and as usual, I got lost in her dimples.
I tossed my shirt in the hamper and walked into the bathroom. When I stepped into the shower, I let the steaming hot water rinse me clean. Nothing would ever be able to completely wash the stains of lost lives from my skin but a hot shower was a start.
CECILY
While I waited for Bear to get out of the shower, I went to the hamper and pulled out the striped shirt he had on. I examined the specks and dots of blood and wondered who was no longer living because Bear reared his head. I wondered if that person was good or bad. I wondered if they had family or if they were lifelong loners.
I put his shirt down and said a prayer for the life…orlives, lost. I never knew with him. Sometimes he’d go forever without killing anyone then sometimes it seemed he couldn’t stop.
I climbed back in his huge bed and snuggled under the fresh blankets and sheets. I asked Mom before she left for the night if she could show me where Bear kept his sheets because they weren’t where they usually were. I wanted to change his sheets because god only knew what kind of nasty ass sex he’d had on top of them.
It worried me when we spent nearly an hour looking for the sheets because she forgot where she put them. When I finally found them, they were in the guestroom closet all the way at the top. After that, I made the bed myself and told Mom to go home. She needed rest, evidently.
The shower cut off and snapped me out of thoughts about my mother. Bear walked out wearing nothing but a red towel. Water clung to his pitch-black hair like diamonds woven between the locks and strands. I stared at his chiseled chest like I didn’t have any damn sense. It was so hard. So fucking perfect. I pulled my knees up to my chin because I was afraid that the growing river between my thighs would come rushing out.
Jesus.
Help.
It wasn’t like I hadn’t seen Bear in a towel or underwear or half-naked before but right then it was sinful. Right then it burned through to my core and made everything throb.
The towel hung low on his hips and I couldn’t stop looking at the V-cut dipping below the red terry cloth. He was a god carved from jet stone. His fire glass eyes found mine, lingering as they had been for the past couple of days.
“I’m sorry I was harsh with you earlier, Cecily.” His voice was deep and gritty but it wasn’t rough. It wasn’t jarring at all. It was the most pleasant thing my ears could possibly hear. I wanted to listen to him all night. I’d forgotten how much he pissed me off earlier.
“Bear, what is going on in your head?” I asked him. Something had him going back and forth and I wanted to know what it was because it was driving me crazy. “Something is on your mind and it’s shifting the energy between us.” I pressed my thighs together while he oiled his perfect chocolate-kissed skin. My heart sped up trying to catch up with the attraction that blossomed inside of me for Bear.
Bear…
Of all fucking people.
I willed the stupid crush to go away. It didn’t help that the man I was crushing on was a thick slice of mocha muscle with the fucking jawline of a superhero and the personality of a supervillain. Trying to stop lusting after him was like standing in front of a freight train hoping the brakes were good.
The momentum alone would crush you.
“You can feel it too?” He asked. He pulled on a pair of white boxer briefs beneath his towel and I pushed out a strained breath. My mouth was glue. It was fucking kindergarten glue with no hope of ever being anything else.
I nodded my head since my mouth wouldn’t work.
“I don’t know, Cecily. Shit doesn’t feel the same between us.” He climbed in bed beside me. Something he’d done a million times before. This time was different though. This time he smelled too damn good. This time he was too close. This time I wanted to lay my head on his chest.
The need to feel his smooth skin beneath my cheek was so strong that my head started to pulse, threatening to turn into a headache. I thought maybe if I put distance between us, with me on one side and him on the other, I would regain some of my composure.
“Everything is still the same on my end, Bear.” That was a lie. I was losing the battle to remain his little sister. His friend. It was harder than it used to be to brush off the things he said and did.
My guard wasn’t just down after losing Kaiden. It was obliterated. It was dust particles and atoms. I was wide open and whatever I was able to keep at bay under normal circumstances was wandering around freely.
