Page 30 of Bear
“No, it’s not,” Bear said, lowering his thick brows. I heard the growl rumbling in his chest and my thighs ached. He reached out and gripped my jaw like he used to do when I was younger, only this time he wasn’t rooting around for my dimples.
I was useless as a paper umbrella in a storm. I was just as wet too. It was so fucking confusing I thought I would pass out from the dizziness swarming me. I draped my fingers around his forearm and looked at him from beneath my lashes.
“I can’t put my finger on it, Cecily but things aren’t the same with you and they’re not the same with me either.” Before he let me go, his thumb caressed the side of my face and in the wake of the flames he left behind, fire flowers grew from my pores.
I wondered if he was attracted to me too. Did Bear even have those types of feelings? I mean he was a straight man. I knew he was attracted to women. I’ve seen them leaving his room and his house. They were all beautiful too. I guess I wondered if he was capable of being more than only attracted to looks.
My stomach flopped with the heaviness of the thoughts running through my head. I tried to steady my mind but it was determined to wobble. I sucked in a quick, deep breath and looked at Bear.
“What does any of that mean?” I asked.
“I don’t know. But when I thought you weren’t here waiting for me when I got back I felt weird.” When his words registered, I sat up a little straighter and listened harder than I’ve ever listened to anything or anyone.
“You wanted me to be here when you got home?”
“Yes. More than any fucking thing.” Tension rippled through him. His muscles glowed under the soft lights of his bedroom. I glanced at them then back into his copper eyes. They pulled me in every fucking time. How could I ever be immune to something so beautiful?
“You’ve never actually said you wanted me around. I don’t even know what to say right now.”
“Join the club. I just wanted to apologize for the way I spoke to you earlier and I wanted to let you know that Ididwant you to stay but I didn’t want you to be alone.” He was lying. Part of him was fighting with the fact that he wanted me to stay in the first place and the other part of him didn’t want me to be alone in the house. He’d never tell me all that though because it meant he’d have to be vulnerable and Bear didn’t know how to do that.
It’s what stopped me from telling him I thought he was fine as fuck and I didn’t know what it meant for our friendship. I couldn’t be vulnerable with Bear. He’d never reciprocate.
“Thank you for being honest, Bear.” I couldn’t be honest with him though. So I just looked at him and tried not to spill my guts.
“Let’s go to sleep, baby doll.”
“Are you actually going to sleep?” I laughed.
“I’ll keep you safe while you sleep. How about that?” I knew I’d never win that fight. He was forever going to be an insomniac. He refused to take his pills. I understood that he didn’t want tohaveto take them to sleep but god, I wished he would.
I slid down in the bed and Bear moved closer to me. I turned over on my side as he cut the light off. I didn’t want him to see my face if prickly heat decided to rise to the surface of my cheeks.
“You’re too far away,” Bear grumbled. “Come here.” The control in his voice pulled me to him. I inched back until I connected with his solid, thick frame. When his arm slid around my waist, I froze. There were too many sensations rushing through me at once. They filled me up like a million fireflies. I was certain I’d be able to light up the entire night sky with how bright he made me feel inside.
“Goodnight, Bear,” I said.
“Goodnight, Cecily.” He squeezed me a little tighter and the fireflies in my stomach flooded every other part of me and buzzed through my skin until I fell asleep from exhaustion and elation dueling inside.
When I woke up, I expected to find the bed beside me cold and empty. To my surprise, Bear was sleeping and his mouth was wide open. I blinked a few times, wondering if my eyes were playing tricks on me or if maybe I was still sleeping.
I poked him and he stirred a little then pulled me closer to him like he sought me out in his sleep. I slid against him with no protests. In his arms was the safest place I could ever be.
I fought against the way starlight danced across my skin each time he breathed against the back of my neck. It was so hard not to face him and press my lips to his. I wanted to see what kissing Lucifer would taste like.
When I was little, I used to imagine what would happen if I ever kissed Bear. I wondered if his lips would burn mine because I’d heard talk of how evil he was. Now, I knew his kisses would make me burn for different reasons.
I stretched my fingers across his and shut my eyes again hoping I didn’t wake him up since sleeping was such a rarity for him. My phone shot that thought straight to hell when it jumped to life loudly on the nightstand. I cursed under my breath and grabbed it in my hand hoping to somehow silence it that way.
Bear made a sound that let me know he was awake, so when I saw Mrs. Foster’s number flash across the screen, I went ahead and answered the phone.
“Hello?”
“Cecily? I’m so sorry to wake you up. I needed to tell someone this news and you’re the only other person that was as deeply affected by Kaiden’s death as I was.” I pressed the phone to my ear harder because I couldn’t miss anything she had to say. Her voice was upbeat and bursting with energy. She sounded like pure caffeine.
“What’s going on, Mrs. Foster?”
“Well, the day of Kaiden’s funeral, the detectives told me they had two suspects that they were fairly certain fired the shots outside of the building. They told me straight up that the likelihood of finding them was slim because they’d already fled the state.
