Page 20 of Bear
He was scarier than the devil himself.
The air inside the butcher shop cradled a sharp metallic smell. My stomach wanted to run right out the back door but I stood beside Bear like it didn’t bother me. The snide little smirk on his face told me he knew it bothered the shit out of me.
Like at the lumberyard, everyone hopped up with wide eyes and agreeable smiles when they saw Bear moving through. He was a tsunami that nobody knew how to prepare for. His stare seemed to fix people to their spot and his cool demeanor submerged them leaving them clueless as to how they should behave. They were drowned in him before they knew what the fuck was happening.
“Bear, I didn’t know you were coming through today. We just got an order from the mayor for burgers for the July Fourth celebration.” The tall guy in the back had to be twice as old as Bear but he still seemed rattled.
“Good.” Bear nodded then slipped his hands in his pockets. “I heard some logs from the lumberyard were being stored here until overtime. Show me.” He didn’t ask. Hedemanded.
There were four other men in the wide-open receiving area as well but they remained silent. The man talking must have been in charge. Bear hardly acknowledged the others. His eyes stayed trained on the man who wouldn’t stop talking. He must not have been used to face-to-face visits from Bear. He hated too much talking.
“I didn’t even get a heads up that you were coming. I would have made sure I set everything up for you. The logs are kind of tossed in there.” The guy slid his eyes over to me and gave a tight-lipped smile. “Um…is it okay if she sees?” He walked down a brightly lit hallway with a huge metal door at the end.
“She’s here. Right?” Bear said. He motioned for the man to open the door and he stumbled all over himself muttering apologies while I watched. It was fascinating. I’d never been on any runs with Bear before and watched him do his daily work. It used to always be a mystery to me. When I was younger, I only saw Bear once he got home from being with his dad all day. Now I got to see what the hell they’d been doing.
I wasn’t ready for what was behind that thick metal door though. The hinge holding the heavy steel slab upright whined pitifully when it was tugged open. The smell of cold death brushed past then enveloped me, clinging to my nose like frostbite. I wrapped my arms around myself. I hated the fact that Bear was right. I shouldn’t have worn the cute shirt I had on.
My nipples turned into tiny diamonds the second I stepped inside the freezer. Bear took his blazer off and draped it around my shoulders before moving over to the two dead bodies lying on the floor. They were stacked on top of each other like planks of wood. Both had gunshot wounds in the backs of their heads. The bullet holes were sticky with frozen blood and matted hair.
I pressed my palm against my lips and shut my eyes. It was too much. I was hurled back to the night Kaiden got shot and I started to tremble. I couldn’t tell which part was from the cold and which part was from the aching memories of seeing his tiny body in shock and bleeding out.
“What happened?” Bear asked. He was unfazed by the two stiffening bodies at his feet.
“They owed money. Didn’t pay.” The guy talking wasn’t fazed either. I could hear it in his voice. He must have seen shit like that all day. I couldn’t wrap my head around it.
“They shouldn’t be on the fucking floor like this. Too much DNA. They’re stewing in it. If I thawed them and combed the area, I’d be able to create an entirely new person from all the goddam cells and fibers. Fix it. Clean it.”
“Sure thing, Bear. I’m sorry about that. We were swamped after the order from…”
“Fix it,” he snapped before walking out. I felt myself on the verge of slipping into a lake of sadness. I tortured myself with one last look over my shoulder at the two men and my stomach roiled as a result. I put my hand on Bear’s shoulder to brace myself.
“You okay?” He quizzed.
“Yup. I’d be even better if we got the hell out of here.” I kept my spine straight and my eyes focused. It didn’t matter how I felt on the inside as long as I projected that I was fine on the outside.
“We’ll leave after I finalize some things.” When he looked at me, I saw a flicker of sympathy in his usually cold eyes. It was a mustard seed but it needled its way beneath my ribs and planted itself in my heart.
Bear…cared?
He stood off to the side in the hallway and spoke quietly to the man about thelogsin the freezer. I heard words like frozen solid and midnight. My ears burned to know what else was being said because even though I shied away from the gritty aspects of Bear’s life, he let me sip from the cup and now I liked the flavor.
I didn’t know how to tell him that. I didn’t know what type of person it made me. Who cringed at gore and death yet peeked through their fingers while covering their eyes?
Me. Evidently, I did that shit.
“Let’s go, Cecily.” My name was firm and heavy leaving his mouth. I nodded and walked with him down the hallway and out through the back door.
He was wound tighter than usual and it made me hyper-aware of him. I was aware of every way he moved and all the words he didn’t say. When we got into the car, I faced him, still cloaked in his blazer.
“Something is on your mind. What is it?” I quizzed.
“You shouldn’t have seen those bodies.” He started the car and gripped the steering wheel in his hands. Sunlight bounced off his golden rings and glossed over his gorgeous deep skin.
“That’s what you wanted, right?” My tone poked at him unintentionally. He bristled then pulled off in silence. “Fuck. You infuriate me, Bear. I know you don’t do emotions. I know you’re a wall of cement but you can at least admit when you were wrong.” I had no idea where the burst of anger came from but it poured from my chest sticky and unforgiving. I watched it cling to him and change the expression on his face from neutral to bothered.
The unflappable Bear Stone was bothered by my words.
“I infuriateyou? Do you think I like seeing you suffer because you somehow got it in your head that you’re a bad person? I wanted to show you there was no way you were a bad person but I took it too far having you see dead bodies. I didn’t know they’d been shot and I know what you went through with Kaiden.”
