Page 41 of Defect
“How can you be so sure?” I countered.
“I can feel it. I know that’s not a lot and it might not be concrete enough for you but I can feel how heavy your heart is. I can feel how cloudy your energy is.” She put another pile of books in the tub then walked over to me. “Promise me you’ll keep coming back to work and letting me do Reiki on you.”
“I promise. Plus, what would ever keep me away from you?”
“Hopefully nothing.” She smiled at me and I smiled back.
“Before you came over, Solo I was thinking some dark shit,” I confessed.
“Like what?” She asked. She put the last pile of books in the tub and then looked at me.
“I wanted to give in and be with Everett.” I let my shoulders drop with the weight of my admittance.
“Fuck,” she sighed, rubbing her forehead. Her full lips fell into a frown and she walked over to me. “I’m glad you called me. I don’t care where I’m at or what I’m doing, I will stop everything and run to you if you’re ever feeling that lost, Ezra.” I knew she meant every word of what she said. Shit, she was already proving it by being there with me right then. “I don’t want you to be with Everett. I know the pull is probably strong but I like having you around and I’ve just started getting to know you.”
“I actually believe everything that comes out of your mouth. That’s rare. Especially after the accident. Everyone thinks I’m defective now. Shit, my mother called me a monster. Not you though. You treat me like I’m normal. So, I think I like having you around too.”
“Defective?” She almost laughed the word out. “Ezra, you’re not defective. If you’re defective then so am I. We can be defective together.” She bumped me with her hips and I pulled her closer to me. I wanted to smell her roses and sugar.
“Thank you, Solana.” She nodded in response. I saw something dancing in her brown eyes. It nudged something deep inside of me.
“Now, let’s get this room packed up, okay?” We broke away from each other before thatsomethinggrew between us.
We worked side by side going through every corner of Ev’s room. With her beside me, it wasn’t an insurmountable hill to climb. With her beside me, it was cathartic. It took three hours to pack up his room and during that time I found tons of things that made me laugh and cry and stand there in awe that I was actually a twin and had the experience of Everett in my life.
“All done,” Solana said, rubbing her palms against her toned thighs. “How are you feeling?”
“Lighter. Like once I leave this room for good maybe I can say goodbye.”
“That’s what I was hoping for you. Hey, can you show me where the bathroom is?” I pointed her down the hall and then I was alone. I knew it was what Solo wanted.
“I’ll always miss you, bro. I’ll carry you forever. I love you, Everett.” I walked out of his room and shut the door behind myself. I didn’t intend to ever go back inside. If Mom wanted the boxes out of the room she was going to have to figure it out on her own.
I went across the hall to my old room and opened the door. The entire space was empty but I still saw it as the room I grew up in. I still saw the posters of beautiful girls on my walls and the computer over by the wall. I still saw the way my bed sat near the window.
“Hey,” Solana said. She stood in the doorway with one hand on her hip. I motioned for her to come in the room. “Did this used to be your room?” She asked.
“Yeah,” I nodded. My arms burned to hold her. I didn’t want to push it so I stood beside her instead. “All these walls used to be covered with posters of girls.” I made an abstract gesture like I could paint the walls with memories.
“So you were a pervert is what you’re telling me,” she laughed.
“I wasn’t a pervert.”
“You were a virgin moonlighting as a pervert.”
“Nah. Definitely not a virgin,” I said shaking my head. The corners of Solana’s plump lips turned down. She was impressed but she didn’t want to show it.
“Oh, I’m sorry. You’ve been with a girl or two.”
“Yeah…or more. Just because I was the quiet twin doesn’t mean I didn’t have girls. I just took longer to talk to them than Ev did.”
“You? No. I don’t believe it,” she laughed with her hand over her mouth.
“What’s not to believe? Are you a virgin?” I asked.
“Me? No. Absolutely not. I’m also a grown ass woman.”
“And I’m a grown ass man,” I said looking down at her.
