Page 13 of Defect
I slammed my bedroom door and went into the bathroom. I still had oxidized blood smears on my face when I looked at myself in the mirror. My thick brows fell low on my forehead. It was my permanent expression now.
I turned on the water for a shower and peeled my clothes off. Sometimes I rushed through my showers because the running water made the storm in my head louder and more fierce. I was alone with my thoughts and my thoughts were consumed with anger and thoughts of Everett. My mind was not a fun place to be and I felt trapped there.
…
“I’m going to work today. I shouldn’t need to tell you this but please stay in the house until I get back. I left food in the kitchen for you and you can do anything you want around the house.” Mom stood in the doorway to my bedroom, eyeing me, waiting for a response. She wasn’t going to get one. I slid my headphones over my ears and saw her leave out the corner of my eye.
I was banned from leaving the house alone especially after beating the shit out of Antonio a few days ago. Before that incident, I could at least go outside for a walk. Now I was stuck inside. I wasn’t going to listen to her but the thought of it alone was ridiculous. I stood up and walked to the window. I wanted to watch her drive off to make sure she was gone before I went outside and took a walk. It was the only time I got fresh air.
After fifteen minutes passed and I was sure Mom was gone, I put on my shoes and headed outside. It was the weekend and kids were everywhere on the block. I narrowed my eyes and looked around at everyone laughing and talking. They carried on conversations like the world was spinning normally. Like things weren’t warped and fucked up.
I envied them all.
I wished my life were as simple as Saturdays outside riding bikes and playing with friends. I wished my life were as simple as going to parties and trying to get phone numbers. My life wasn’t simple at all anymore. I was drowning in a storm inside of my head and I didn’t have anyone to talk to about it.
“What’s up, Defect?” I heard the shouting over the low music playing in my headphones. Maybe I was hearing things. My brain was fucked up, right?
“Yo, Defect, can you hear?” I felt a hand shove me forward. I stumbled over my feet and looked over my shoulder. The storm in my head rumbled to life. Thunder clapped and lightning flashed.
It was one of Antonio’s boys. His eyes were glassy and red and his breath smelled sharp like he’d been drinking. I tried to pull myself together before the rage took over me. It was the hardest thing I’d ever tried to do. Seconds ticked on while I tried to compose myself but my fist wanted to smash into his drunk face.
“You think because you fucked Toni up you’re going to walk around like you’re tough? I bet you anything you wouldn’t try that shit on me. Fucking defect.”
“Leave me the hell alone. I’m not trying to go back to jail.”
“Only place you’re going is to the morgue. I don’t appreciate what the fuck you did to my boy. That was Ev’s best friend and that’s how you treat him? You need to learn a lesson.”
“Are you sucking Toni’s dick or something? What the hell is wrong with you?” I asked, fisting my hands at my side. My chest tightened and my muscles turned to stone.
“What did you say to me, Defect? I know your brain is fucked up but you need to watch your mouth.”
“Fuck you,” I spat. No matter how many times that tiny flicker of a voice told me to back down, I couldn’t. I refused to be a victim because some asshole had a point to prove.
I didn’t even know the asshole’s name and he was in my face goading me on. I knew I’d end up in jail again if I fucked him up the way the storm in my mind was telling me to but I couldn’t make myself care.
Care, Ezra.
Antonio’s friend punched me in the jaw and my headphones flew off my neck. I stumbled to the side. I tried to resist the urge to hit him but I couldn’t. I stood upright and cracked into his face with my fist balled up tight.
It was a one-on-one fight for a few seconds then I heard someone shout, “Jump his ass!” I felt so many fists and feet on me that I lost count.
I was set up.
That’s all I could think of when I went down to the concrete. Antonio’s boy knew I wouldn’t be able to leave well enough alone. He knew the only way he could beat me was with a whole crew.
Pain exploded in my head and ribs. My lungs were on fire and I could taste dirt and gravel between my teeth. The only thing that made them scatter was the sound of sirens. I didn’t pass out from the beating but I wish I had.
“Are you okay, son?” I heard an officer ask. His voice was close but it still sounded like it was coming from somewhere else. I nodded and sat upright on the ground even though my midsection felt like it was being ripped apart. “Did you see who attacked you?”
“I did but I don’t know his name.”
“Son, there were at least five people on you. They all scattered when we pulled up. Can you tell me anything about the people who jumped you?”
“No,” I snapped, standing to my feet. Pain chewed me up and spit me the fuck out. My head spun round and round and I braced myself against a nearby fence. I felt like I would fall right off the face of the earth.
Maybe falling off the earth wouldn’t be so bad.
“We’re going to put you in the back of the ambulance now. You need to go to the ER and get examined.”
