Page 87 of Defect
“I’m sorry,” Malachi muttered under his breath.
“It’s okay, baby,” I tried to smile but my heart was too heavy and sad.
“It’s not okay. I’m tired of having my life disrupted.”
“Vince, going to court isn’t that bad. With the type of parent you are, I’m sure they’ll award me custody. Especially if Malachi says he wants to stay with me.”
“I do,” he sniffled.
“I’m not going to court. You think I want to have my fucking business dragged through the mud for all my colleagues to see? They don’t even know I have a son.” His jaw flexed in between angry words. “You find a way to quietly get him out of my fucking hair and he’s yours. Keep him forever. I don’t give a fuck. He means nothing to me.” How the hell did he let such callous and cruel words fall from his mouth like they were feathers instead of bombs spiked with shrapnel?
My chest tightened.
I was on the brink of a panic attack being in Vince’s presence. I hadn’t seen him for more than six months and somehow I ended up sitting across from him having lunch almost like no time had passed.
The server brought our food out and I did little more than pick over my salad. I didn’t want it. I didn’t want anything that he had a hand in. The server could have thrown the salad on the floor and I would have been fine.
Malachi’s brown eyes glanced over at my food several times and I wanted to slip him something but I knew Vince would blow up and I was trying to avoid that. We were in public though. There wasn’t much he could do. I forced the knot in my throat down and dished out a little of my salad onto a saucer for him. When I pushed the dish to Malachi, Vince glared at me.
“I said I didn’t want him eating.”
“He’s starving,” I countered quietly.
“Does it look like I give a fuck if he’s starving?”
“No, it doesn’t and that’s the problem.” Malachi looked too terrified to eat one bite. “Eat a little, Tyke. It’s okay.” I leaned down so that I was all he could see. He stuffed a forkful of romaine lettuce and tomato in his mouth then chewed it hurriedly.
“Still haven’t changed huh? You still think you have the right to say what does and doesn’t happen?” Vince’s voice was ripe with fury and I knew the second we were alone he would cave my face in if he got the chance. I was hoping he didn’t get the chance. I looked at him and narrowed my eyes.
“Malachi is hungry. That’s all I care about. I don’t care about you and your need to control everything.” I straightened my spine and tried to look as unbothered as I possibly could. I didn’t know how well it translated though. I couldn’t let Malachi see how I actually felt on the inside. He didn’t need to know that the person who was trying desperately to save him was quaking in her shoes.
“You look hungry yourself, Solana.” I hated the way my name curdled on his tongue.
“I’m not.”
“I think you are. I’d be a horrible date if I didn’t offer you some of my food.”
I looked at the filet mignon on his plate and my stomach lurched. “No thank you,” I said, trying to remain calm. My knee bounced relentlessly under the table though.
“It wasn’t a request. Eat the fucking food or else the boy stays with me tonight. I need you to see how much control you don’t have.” He slid his plate across the table to me and I shut my eyes for a second.
“No, Solo…you can’t eat it. You’ll get sick. You’re a vegan, remember?” Malachi’s big doe eyes stared up at me full of concern and all I could do was force a pained smile on my face.
“It’s okay, Malachi. Anything for you, remember?”
“You’ll get sick,” he squeaked, grabbing my hand. I looked at Vince and he smiled a sickening smile at me.
“Eat some, Solana. I don’t have all day.” My lips trembled as I cut into the rare filet. I steadied my breathing and took a small forkful of meat in my mouth. “More,” Vince urged. “I’ll tell you when you’re done.” I was done before the first fucking bite. I had to force myself not to vomit at the heavy metallic taste rolling around on my tongue. Nothing about eating something I made a personal vow not to eat was funny. Vince was grinning like the devil though. After the third bite, I began gagging involuntarily. My eyes watered and I had to shut them to focus on not throwing up all over the table.
I choked down half of Vince’s food before he called it quits. “Good girl. Now you can stop.” He waved the server over and asked for a to-go box while I broke out in a sweat trying to keep everything down.
“Solo, are you okay?” Malachi asked barely above a whisper.
“I’m okay,” I lied. I was far from okay and seconds away from being sick. I pulled in air through my nose and pushed it out through my mouth until my stomach settled long enough for me to open my eyes.
“Since you were so obedient, you can keep him for the rest of the week. I’ll get him this weekend before I have another visit from CPS.”
“I can go with Solo?” Malachi asked excitedly.
