Page 55 of Defect
I stood to my feet and walked over to Solana while she stirred the food slowly like a trained chef. I tried not to touch her hair but she needed to be punished for calling me little boy after I told her to stop that shit.
“What did I tell you, Solana?” I grumbled in her ear. Her spine stiffened and her shoulders turned to blocks.
“And since when do I listen to you, Ezra?”
“Since I told you about that little boy shit.” I pulled her hair and she sucked in a sharp breath. I loved that noise. I wanted her to make it when I slid my dick inside of her. I tried to scrub that thought from my broken brain.
She wanted us to be friends.
She didn’t want to be with me.
I heard her tell Amaris that she knew it was a bad idea. I was too broken for her. I had to keep reminding myself of that. I backed away and shook my head.
“You keep poking the beast.”
“Me?” She squeaked. I saw the goosebumps on her bare shoulders and I wanted to slide my tongue over them. I poured another glass of wine but that time I handed it to her. “What’s going to happen if I keep poking the beast, Ezra?” She asked, taking a slow sip. The way she wrapped her lips around the rim of that wine glass made nasty shit run rampant through my mind.
“It’s going to attack so chill the fuck out.” I hated the back and forth of wanting her one minute then wanting to be her friend the next. I hated that she entertained it. It confused me all the time.
“Okay,” she sighed. I could see her fighting with herself too and I didn’t know what to think. I just knew I was tired of being around the most beautiful, perfect woman in the world and not being able to touch her the way I wanted to.
I grew quiet while Solo talked and drank wine. I watched her every move though. Watching her was like watching a moving work of art. The way her hair swayed, the way her hips moved, the way her legs flexed.
“Okay, dinner is done,” she smiled setting a plate in front of me. It actually looked good too.
“This looks amazing, Solo. Thank you.” She sat beside me instead of across from me and I could feel the electricity crackle between our bodies.
“Did you feel that?” She asked with wide eyes. I loved when she got that look. She looked fucking adorable. It made me smile.
“I did.” I nodded my head and focused on my plate.
“God, that shit is always insane.”
“It is,” I said. I took a sip of wine before I tasted Solana’s risotto. She waited with her hands clasped under her chin for my reaction. “It’s fucking delicious.” I meant every word and like I told her in the kitchen, I was going to want seconds. I polished off my first plate in five minutes flat. She was stunned silent but she smiled. “I think I like watching you eat,” she beamed.
Then you should let me between your thighs.
“Lucky for you because I’m going back for more.”
“Can you grab another bottle of wine?” She called from the dining room. I found the other bottle on the counter and grabbed it right after I piled my plate high with more risotto.
Solana actually sat there and watched me eat another plate of food after she’d finished hers. The longer she watched me, the more I felt the heat in the room rise. I had to move around to shift the energy because it was getting too thick for me to ignore and I was going to say or do something.
There was a reason I’d stopped coming to her house. I should have remembered that. The lure of being alone with Solana was too strong though. “I’m going to clean these dishes up,” I said, grabbing our plates. The wine pumping through my veins dulled the usual guard I had to keep in place around Solo. I didn’t have it up because I didn’t want her getting close. I had it up so that I wouldn’t get too close to her because I knew I couldn’t have her the way I wanted to. The way every cell in my body said I should.
“I’ll help,” she said.
“Nah, I got it.” My tone was a little harsher than I meant for it to be and I saw the way it hurt her. That’s the last thing I wanted to do. I sighed heavily and took the dishes in the kitchen.
“Did I do something to you, Ezra?” Solana’s soft voice came from behind me and I swore it sounded like she had tears clinging to her words. I turned around to face her, my heart squeezed when I saw the sad and confused look in her eyes.
She was my sunflower. She was too beautiful to look like that because of me.
“No.” I looked up at the ceiling and rubbed my forehead. “Thank you for dinner, Solana. I gotta go home though.” Even though things were tense between us, I leaned down and placed a kiss on her smooth forehead.
“Why are you leaving? I had movies and…I thought we could hang out.” She chewed on her bottom lip while she stared at me. I didn’t know how to tell her that being around her was becoming harder and harder. I couldn’t keep being her friend. She made me feel too many things.
I’d never been in love before but it had to feel like this. It had to be the feeling of sunlight in my veins and the prickle of electricity when I touched her. It had to be the way she smelled like sweet flowers even in my dreams. How the fuck was I supposed to be alone with her day after day without falling for her? Her eyes were made from pools of brandy constructed just to sink my heart to the bottom.
