Page 32 of Defect
“I know,” I nodded. I bent down and kissed Malachi’s cheek then stepped into the hallway with Amaris.
“He is filthy. How the fuck is Vince allowing this?” She said from between clenched teeth. Tears welled in my eyes and trembled before rolling down my cheeks.
“I don’t know. Let me take him for the day, Amaris. Please. I’ll take him home with me and give him a bath, get him a hair cut, and give him food.” I covered my mouth with my hands and let a short sob escape me.
“There are cameras everywhere, Solana. They will see you walk out of here with him then you’ll be going to jail.”
“There has to be a blind spot somewhere. He needs something.”
“I know this is tough, Solana but if you take him now, the social worker won’t see the truth. She won’t be able to smell him or see his neglect. If you take him to get a hair cut, they won’t see how matted his curls are. This needs to be seen and documented because they’re doing a home visit this weekend.”
“You want me to continue to let him smell and be hungry and scared?” I narrowed my eyes at her and she looked up at the ceiling.
“You have to. It’s the only way you’re going to help him in the long run. You don’t think it breaks my fucking heart to see him like this? I don’t want to see any child like this,” she whispered. “I love Malachi too, okay? I want to help him out of this for good though.”
“So do I!”
“You have to calm down and think smart then. Malachi is a tough kid. He’s going to make it. The goal is for him to make it to you. Don’t lose sight of that.” She tapped my chest with her two fingers. It was something she did when we were younger too. It was her way of telling me to keep my bleeding heart in check.
It was hard though.
I nodded my head and dried my weeping eyes then went back into her office with Malachi. He’d started drawing a picture. I tucked my hair behind my ear and looked over his shoulder. “What are you drawing, Tyke?” I asked.
“Me and you, Solo. That’s you,” he pointed to the deep brown stick figure with long hair and a big smile. “That’s me,” he pointed to the short stick figure with a big smile.
“That’s beautiful, Malachi.”
“Thank you. I saw a movie where the boy drew pictures and they came to life. So, maybe if I draw what I want…it’ll come to life too.”
My. Heart.Broke.
“I love you so much, Malachi.” I breathed in through my nose hoping to stop the tears from falling. He didn’t need to see me like that.
“I know. I love you too, Solo. I’ve missed you but I don’t text because Daddy has been home at night.”
“Oh? He’s working during the day now?” Malachi nodded in response. It explained why he hadn’t been reaching out to me at night. “Has he…hurt you, Malachi?”
“I got a beating last night because I took some food from the refrigerator. I was hungry though.”
“I’m so sorry, baby. You know you don’t deserve that right? It’s not okay for your dad to hit you. I need you to remember that. You’re not doing anything wrong and Miss Monroe and I are working so hard to get you out of there.”
“I know. It’s hard and I’m always sad but I like coming to school.”
“Good. I’m glad you like coming to school.” I motioned for him to sit on my lap and he did so gladly. I laid my hands on his back and shut my eyes. “Breathe with me, Malachi.” His eyes fell shut and he pulled in slow, deep breaths like I’d shown him dozens of times before.
“Your hands are warm, Solo. I like it.”
“Good. Just keep breathing.” I pushed all the love and positivity I could muster into him for five quiet minutes then I kissed and hugged him. I hated to part ways with him but I knew I had to. At least his stomach was full and he had clean clothes. Before he left Amaris’ office, he handed me the picture he drew and told me he loved me.
“You’re doing the right thing, Solana.” Amaris hugged me and gave my hand a squeeze.
“I know. I just wish it wasn’t so hard.”
“It’ll get easier.” She rubbed my back and I felt a little better but my heart still hurt.
“I gotta go to the studio and open. Come by later, okay?” I looked at her and she nodded with a smile. I hurried out of the school the way I always do before I swooped in and kidnapped my baby.
I breezed into Sun Goddess at 9:45 and Ezra was already sitting outside on the ground, leaning against the door, looking down at his phone. I walked up and stood in front of him waiting for him to notice me. He snatched his headphones off when he realized I was standing there. I heard the slow soft sounds of R&B coming from them.
