Page 5 of Honey Sugar
“What’s wrong?” She asked in a hush.
“I did something fucked up, Mama.” I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to bleach away the image of me pulling the trigger that resulted in someone’s death. That wasn’t me. I wasn’t a killer. I didn’t even mean to hit that motherfucker in the head. I wanted to hit him somewhere to disable him so I could run away.
Want. Want. Want.
None of what Iwantedmattered because he was dead.
Mama’s hands gripped my shoulders. Her fingers dug into my muscles. The burn made me look at her. “Titan, what the hell happened? You gotta talk to me, baby. Are you hurt?”
“No. I’m not hurt. I hurt someone,” I said, looking at her. I hated having to tell her what I did. She always saw the best in me. She saw the best even when she knew I was doing illegal shit.
“You…hurt someone?You? What did you do?” I heard the adrenaline spiking in her voice. Her grip on me became more urgent. I was talking too slowly.
“I shot someone. I don’t know if he’s dead or not.”
Lies.
I couldn’t tell her I shot someone in the head and he fell out lifeless without even a last-minute twitch or shake.
Mama’s brown eyes widened and she put her hand over her mouth. “How the hell did that happen? I thought you were going to some parties and staying out of trouble. Oh my lord,” she pressed a hand to her chest and shook her head.
“He thought I was someone else. He came at me with a gun and I shot first. If I didn’t…he would have killed me.” It was kill or be killed in that fucking alley tonight and I came out alive.
“Oh…Titan.” Her voice was overflowing with sadness and it hurt my fucking heart. “You have to get out of here. You gotta get out of New Orleans.”
“I can’t leave you.”
“I’m fine. You’re not. What if someone is looking for you?” She shook her head vehemently. “I can’t lose you. You’re my only child. I would die before I let something happen to you. No matter what you did, right or wrong, you’re still my son and mine to protect. You have got to leave New Orleans.”
“I don’t have anywhere to go, Mama.” My insides were a mess of jittering nerves and conflicting thoughts that swelled inside of me until I felt bloated with unease.
“You can go stay with your auntie and uncle in Sugar Bayou.” She touched my hair, sliding her fingers down my jet-black cornrows.
Hearing her mention my aunt and uncle brought back a host of memories. Some of them were bitter but most of them were punctuated by memories of my cousin, Ivy.
If I stayed in Sugar Bayou, nobody would come looking for me. It was the epitome of a small town. It was the portrait of what people expected Louisiana to look like. I hadn’t been there since I was twelve or thirteen but it couldn’t have changed much at all if any.
“How long?” I asked my mother.
“For a while, Titan. You need to let this blow over. Would anyone be able to identify you?”
“No. I had on a mask.”
“Good. You just got paid right?”
“Yeah. Five grand today,” I told her.
“Take your money and keep it. Stay here at work with me and I’ll make sure you get on your way safely at the end of my shift.” She stood up and even though I could tell she was shaken, she didn’t show it. She walked me to her station and started laughing and talking. She told all her friends how I’d been up here with her all night lounging in an empty room.
She spun an alibi for me flawlessly.
There was no way I could pay her back for what she was doing but I’d do everything in my power to try.
…
CHAPTER TWO
The familiar scent of warm, bubbling sugar filled my nose with each inhale I took. The pads of my fingers were sticky with honey and the lazy ceiling fan above brushed my arms with wisps of cool air. I was in my happy place.
