Page 39 of Honey Sugar
“That’s exactly what I’m telling you. Don’t fuss at her. Don’t look at her. Don’t raise a motherfucking finger in her direction.” My nostrils flared and my muscles stiffened.
“I wasn’t going to hit her.” His tone changed drastically once he was talking to me. The anger in his eyes dissipated and was replaced with loathing. He knew he couldn’t do or say anything to me because I’d kill him or at least try. Without my mother in the world, I struggled with my morals. I didn’t even care about shooting Bear’s soldier anymore. As far as I was concerned, he got what he deserved. Fuck him.
Fuck Uncle Beau too if he thought he was going to get over on me and Ivy.
“Good. Keep it that way. We don’t have any money from the shop. It’s in the business account and you’re not getting the debit card.” I had to deal with him the same way I’d deal with any junkie on the street. I knew he was only looking for money to buy coke. He must have run out.
“Titan, I know we’ve never seen eye to eye but you know I still love you, nephew. Let me talk to you over here.” He stepped away from Ivy’s room and motioned for me to follow him. I walked toward him but only because I wanted some form of entertainment. My dark and lustful moments with Ivy were disturbed and I took that as a sign to reevaluate my brain. I thought some humor might help.
I wasn’t expecting Ivy to pull me backward by my hand. Her green eyes were defiant and crackled to life with fire. “You don’t need to talk to Titan about anything. He’s not giving you money so you can buy coke, Daddy. I can’t believe you’d stoop that low.”
“Ivy Lynn, I know you might not like me right now but I’m still your daddy and you don’t need to speak to me like that.” I could hear the cowardly monster inside of him dying to get out and abuse someone. He had his eyes set on Ivy but he knew better.
“I’m not giving you any money, Uncle Beau.”
“Titan, I know you know some people who…”
“I don’t know anyone.”
“Maybe I can talk to you tomorrow at the funeral. Some of your people are gonna show up, right?”
“I don’t know.” I was over the exchange between us. When I looked at him I looked at years of wicked abuse. He was malignant cancer in human form.
“I’ll make sure to come see you before everyone clears out, nephew.”
“Don’t,” I scoffed. I watched him head to the bedroom he used to share with Aunt Liv and frowned. “Yo, Uncle Beau. Come here for a second, man.” He shuffled over, trying to keep his focus and using the wall for balance.
I reached in my pocket and pulled out a couple hundred dollars then slapped it in his palm. “Take that and go get what you’re going to get. Don’t come to the funeral high tomorrow.”
“I won’t. I promise you that, Titan. I need something to take my mind off losing Liv. I knew you’d understand.”
“Yeah. Uh huh.”
“I’ll be at the house tomorrow. What time is the funeral again?”
“Ten to one in the afternoon,” I told him. Mama’s funeral was scheduled for yesterday but once Aunt Liv died, Ivy and I thought it would be better to wait another day to have their funerals together. They would have wanted it that way.
Uncle Beau nodded then rushed down the steps and out of the house. I’m sure he stumbled a few times on the way. Once the front door closed with a heavy thud, Ivy turned her glare toward me. I already knew what she was about to say.
“Titan, why the hell did you give him money? You know all he’s going to do is buy drugs.”
“I know, baby girl. I’ll deal with Uncle Beau later. Right now, I want to keep him away from this house for the next twenty-four hours. I want him placated.” I knew how to deal with junkies. I needed for Ivy to trust me. “If he’s satiated and high on coke tonight, he won’t come home. That means when we wake up early in the morning to get ready for the funerals, we won’t have to deal with him. More importantly, we won’t have to deal with him going through withdrawals and fucking up Mama and Aunt Liv’s home-going. Let him have whatever he wants today, okay?” I touched her chin and her guard softened a bit. She nodded and turned to go into her room. She put on a pair of denim shorts and looked at me.
“I’m not staying the night here. Maybe after tomorrow but right now, I’m not ready, Titan.” Her eyes pled with me to understand.
“That’s cool. I’m not pushing you to sleep here. We can sleep at Honey Sugar, the same we’ve been doing for the past two nights.” I put my arm around her shoulders and kissed her temple. She wanted more though. She put her fingertips on my shoulders and pulled me down to her until my lips were a breath away from hers. I pressed a kiss to her sweet mouth and closed my eyes for a brief moment so I could pretend what we were doing wasn’t wrong. When we broke our embrace, I laced our fingers together and we went to the car.
Honey Sugar was black on the inside. No soft yellow glow twinkled from the window. No sweet shop charm radiated from it’s locked doors. It was closed for the night and all the magic was gone until the morning.
The apartment above the sweet shop wasn’t huge but it was big enough for us. We had an air mattress, a bathroom, and a kitchenette. It was our bubble. It kept us afloat over the raging sea of chaos and misery that waited beneath us if it should ever pop.
Ivy fell to the mattress with a sigh, rubbing her tired eyes. She looked up at me and a single tear escaped down her cheek. I knelt in front of her and wiped it away with my thumb. “How is it possible to hate and miss someone at the same time?” She asked barely above a whisper.
“You don’t hate your mother,” I frowned at her.
“I do. She left me. She left me like a fucking coward, Titan.” This wasn’t the first time Ivy said things like that about her mama. She was angry and hurting. Her heart cried out to me like the sound of a warped record spinning on the needle. I sat beside her and she climbed on my lap.
“She was sick with pain. She couldn’t take it anymore,” I said, touching her bouncy curls.
