Page 29 of Honey Sugar
“Was she okay?”
“She’s okay. Your father is high as a fucking kite though and not on the good shit. He had four lines of coke laid down and he had moonshine open on the nightstand. He’s trying to kill his fucking self. Coke and liquor is the quick way to do it too.” I shook my head and watched Ivy climb into bed. She tried to hide the fact that she had tears in her eyes.
I situated my blankets in a pallet on the floor and sat down. “You okay, baby girl?”
“I don’t know. I guess I never thought about him killing himself with all the drugs and drinking. I always thought about him killing either me or Mama.”
“I think he’ll keel over long before either one of you two. Plus, I’m not leaving any time soon so he’s not touching you or your mother.” I pulled my shirt over my head and folded it up. Ivy looked down at me, staring at my bare chest before looking into my eyes.
“Tomorrow, can you tell me what all your tattoos mean?” She asked.
“Yeah. I can do that. Goodnight, Ivy.”
“Night, Titan.”
I cut the light out then settled down on the floor beside Ivy’s bed. I couldn’t sleep though. Something wouldn’t let me and I couldn’t put my finger on it. I changed positions, wrestling with blankets and pillows like they were my nemeses.
“Titan?” I heard Ivy’s soft voice call out. I leaned up on my elbow and made out her frame in the dark.
“Yeah?”
“I can’t sleep. Can you sleep beside me?”
“I can’t sleep either,” I admitted. I grabbed my pillow and blanket then climbed in bed beside her. The minute I laid down, she snuggled against me. Her legs were over mine and her arms were wrapped around my middle while her head laid on my bare chest. Her ear pressed against my pectoral.
Hesitantly, I draped my arms around her and held her there. The more her legs slid against mine, the more it became clear she wasn’t wearing much. Her sleep shorts were gone and her t-shirt was made of thin cotton. I had no idea how thin it was until she was pressed against me.
Mindlessly, I rubbed her lower back in slow, lazy loops. Every rotation of my fingers, I connected with the waistband of her panties. Rubbing her like that…holding her like that couldn’t have been okay.
She was my cousin.
My hand dipped a little lower on her back until the pads of my fingers connected with the pair of shallow dimples above her ass. I let my fingertips skate between each one while I listened to Ivy breathe against my chest. My touch must have calmed her down because, in seconds, her breathing turned deep and rhythmic.
I exhausted myself straddling the line between normal and fucked up. I was tired of thinking about it so I hit the off button in my mind and fell asleep. No matter how much I told myself to forget about the way I held Ivy in my arms, I couldn’t escape the sweet smell of butterscotch on her skin if my life depended on it.
I don’t think Iwantedto escape it.
I was going to sleep as the villain. Hopefully, I woke up as a superhero again.
…
My phone buzzed on the floor, skittering across cherry hardwood. I heard it first then envisioned it in my mind, trying to decide which direction it was moving in before I grabbed it. I cracked open an eye and realized Ivy’s room was still curtained in darkness.
What time was it?
My phone stopped buzzing then started again. It was an urgent and incessant sound that jolted me into an upright position. The ringing stopped then started over and over until I found my phone nearly hidden beneath Ivy’s bed.
My neighbor from New Orleans was calling. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and accepted the call.
“Hello? Mrs. Charles?” My voice was still ripe with fatigue.
“Titan! Where are you! I thought you were in the house!” Her usually calm voice was shrill. It was tainted with something poisonous that made me sick. I slid from between Ivy’s warm arms and swung my feet over the side of the bed.
Everything was amplified. The smooth slap of my soles on the hardwood floor. The tick-tick of the clock hanging on the wall by the window. Ivy’s soft melodic breathing and the shuffle of her body moving beneath the crisp sheet.
“What are you talking about? I’m not at home.”
“You need to get home, Titan. Sarah has been shot. I gotta call the cops.” The line went dead and my chest became ash. Shock and fear turned me rigid. I couldn’t move for at least five seconds. Five seconds was too long.
