Page 29 of Trust Issues
Maybe I was short-circuiting.
“Only one way to find out. Plus, you’ll have the place to yourself so you can do whatever you want. I won’t even know about it. You’ll tell me all about it later but if you didn’t tell me I wouldn’t know. Shit, at least get some dick, Kyle. You’ve been dry as a bone for months and months and months and…”
“Okay. I get it.” I stretched my arms out and wiggled my fingers. “Go. Leave me for your new bestie.”
“Oh my god. You are so dramatic. How did I get stuck with you again?” She locked her fists to her curvy hips and looked me in the eye. We were both height challenged so it wasn’t hard.
“You decided to switch your dorm room at the last minute and here we are. Now you can’t get rid of me because I love you.” I finally let a smile creep across my face and then I pulled Naima in for a big hug.
“I love you too. Please get some tonight for the love of God.”
“I don’t know about all that but I’ll give Austin a call.” I cringed hearing myself even say those words.
Give Austin a call.
What the fuck was wrong with me? He didn’t even stick around for our date and then he wanted to have me over to his place for dinner afterward.
I was losing my damn mind.
After Naima left for Cadence’s, I looked myself in the eye while I stood in the full-length mirror and aimed my pointer finger at my reflection. “Do not sleep with him, Kyla. I know it’s been months but trust me if you sleep with him now, he’ll be trained. Then he’ll think that all he has to do is beg a little and you’ll let him win. Not gonna happen. You are Kyla Bradshaw. You are strong. You are fierce. You don’t take shit from anyone.” I nodded my head and pushed out a short breath.
Was it bad that I had to give myself a pep talk so I would avoid sleeping with a man I barely knew?
Probably.
It had been that long though.
Why couldn’t I be like Max and just throw my ass in the air to see who’d catch it?
I flopped down on my king-sized bed and tapped Austin’s name in my contacts. Well, it wasn’t his name yet. He hadn’t earned a name in my phone. I didn’t throw men in my contacts without serious consideration. I held the phone up to my ear and listened to it ring.
“Kyla? I didn’t think I’d hear from you. Especially after you told me I was a crybaby and that f I couldn’t handle a parking lot, how the hell could I handle dating you?” I mouthed the words as they left his lips. I remembered the scathing text I sent him word for word and I was honestly proud of it. I took pride in not mincing words.
It wasted time.
Time was money.
“That still holds true but I thought maybe I should stop being so harsh and give you a second chance to redeem yourself. You asked so nicely. Who am I to turn down manners?”
Also, the man was fine. Let me not act like that didn’t play a huge role. Normally, I wasn’t superficial. I needed height and for a man to own all the teeth he received after his baby teeth came out. I also required clean, well-kept nails, lips that wouldn’t hold me at knife-point and breath that wouldn’t require a gas mask just to have a conversation.
Austin was all of that but he was also fine as fuck. Everything on his face was put together perfectly. It was perfectly symmetrical like God got fancy on Austin’s birthday. Shit…maybe he was too fine.
“I’d really like a second chance, Kyla. You’re beautiful and you’re hilarious but the fact that you speak your mind so boldly is amazing.” He sounded like he was floating on a cloud.
I crinkled my nose and sucked in a breath. “It’s not bold that I speak my mind, Austin. Women should be able to speak their mind without a man having to label it as bold or courageous. Speaking your mind is just something people do.”
“You’re right. I’m sorry. Listen, I’m not busy tonight and I’d love to fix you dinner. Is it okay if I bring all the ingredients to you? That also includes a bottle of champagne.”
“Swap the champagne for tequila and we have a deal. Also, bring dessert.” I examined my manicure and huffed that I already had a fleck of yellow paint chipping from the corner. I knew it would just send my anxiety into overdrive.
“Deal,” Austin said happily. “Do you like chocolate?”
“What’s there not to love?” I had a smile in my voice but my eyes honed in on that little fleck of polish that was now driving me insane.
“Okay great. I’ll be there in a little while with all the makings of a great night.” We ended the conversation and I contemplated wiping off all the cheery sunshine yellow paint covering my nails.
Even though I was confident killer Kyla in the courtroom, I struggled silently with anxiety. Hell, it was so silent that I barely noticed it and when I did, I just beat myself up until I angrily shoved my anxious thoughts into the back of my mind. They always manifested in the way I nibbled at the skin around my nails though.
