Page 58 of Trust Issues
When I got back to The Avant, I walked past Mark without saying a word. I didn’t want to stop and have small talk. I needed something more substantial than that. I couldn’t talk to my brother because he was busy with Nate and I didn’t have anyone else to talk to. The only person who continuously ran through my mind was Kyle.
So when I stepped off the elevator, I knocked on her door. When she opened it, she looked shocked to see me. “Okay, youneverknock. You usually abandon your manners and walk right in. What’s wrong?” She asked.
“Naima and Cadence still here?”
“Yeah, Naima went back to her room though. We can go to your place. I just have to walk Barks one more time.” She grabbed the leash and I stashed the grocery bags in her apartment then cracked open the treats I bought for him. The moment he heard the bag, he went crazy. I didn’t give him one until he was sitting and behaving though.
“What’s going on Max? You’re so quiet.” She bumped me with her full hips and I felt the words ready to slide out of my mouth.
“I went to see Owen. I wanted to talk to him about something. When I got there he was working on my older brother’s car.”
“Your older brother Nathaniel? The one you never talk about?”
“Bingo,” I nodded.
“So what happened?” We stepped onto the elevator and Kyle leaned against the wall. I took a moment to drink her in before beginning. She seemed concerned and open to listening.
“We got into it as usual. I tried to leave but I let him pull me back with his stupid words. He baited me and I fell for it. I should have kept walking without saying anything to him.”
“Can I ask you something, Max?” The elevator doors opened and we walked off, heading toward the dog park.
“Sure, baby.” I held open the door for her as she walked past me. The hypnotic rhythm of her hips made me feel a little better without much effort at all.
“Why don’t you and Nate get along? I know that you don’t but I have no idea why. You’ve never talked about it. All the late nights we’ve stayed up watching TV and falling asleep on each other’s couches and I have no clue why you hate your brother so much.” God, her eyes were amazing. I could stare at them all day and never get tired. She was going to think I was a creep for looking at her the way I was.
Whatever.
Creep life forever.
“I don’t really talk about it,” I told her with a shrug.
“Well, start fucking talking Max. If we’re going to be…whatever the hell we are, I expect for you to open up more.”
“If you return the favor, I’m all for it.” My words were weightier than I meant for them to be. Kyle seemed to catch it too but she didn’t bite back. Instead, I saw something from her that I’ve never seen. I saw her become soft. She was usually like a cactus. Every needle on her was a means of protection. Right then, she was soft as rose petals and just as beautiful.
“Okay. Deal.” She snuck her hand into mine and I gave it a squeeze before talking.
“A few years ago I was in love. I was so in love with this girl I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her, Kyle. I was going to turn in my player card for good. No other woman compared to her.”
“Youwere head over heels?” She laughed in disbelief.
“Yes. I was. I proposed to her in this really over the top way. We were on the rooftop. Both of our families were there. I ordered the most expensive champagne to drink. We had steak and shrimp to eat. It was pretty badass if I do say so myself.”
“I wouldn’t expect anything less than you patting yourself on the back. Continue.” She nodded. I ignored her and kept talking.
“She said yes, of course. Made me the happiest man ever. I was over the fucking moon. Over the universe. Then one day I came home and my fiancé was riding Nathaniel’s dick into the goddamn sunset.” Remembering that moment burned. It dug jagged bits of glass into my scarred-over heart.
Kyle’s face fell into a sad frown and she shook her head. “That’s so fucked up, Max. Jesus. What did you do?”
“I put her out. I beat Nate’s ass. Put him through a wall. The usual.”
“Um, somehow I don’t think putting your brother through a wall counts astheusual.”
“Well, that’s what I did. I refused to ever speak to either of them again because fuck people like that. I learned the hard way that sometimes family will treat you worse than a motherfucker on the street that you don’t even know. That level of betrayal changed me.”
“Is that why you refuse to be in a relationship with another woman?” Kyle quizzed. We’d gotten so deep into our conversation that I didn’t even notice Barkley lying at her feet, ready to go back inside. I gestured to him and Kyle clipped his leash on. We walked back inside still holding hands. It felt nice. Too damn nice.
I let her hand go and pushed the elevator button. I knew it was a subtle form of sabotage, but I had to. I couldn’t like holding hands with someone that much. How was it possible to love kissing her, fucking her, and holding her hand?
