Page 56 of Trust Issues
I wasn’t mad.
When we pulled away from each other we both had a dazed and starry look in our eyes. I could see it in his and I could feel it in mine. As much as I should have been screaming at myself not to be so open so fast, all I could concentrate on were those coffee eyes framed with the thickest, darkest lashes.
“Text me,” he said again. That time he winked. I felt like I was at a Michael Jackson concert in the mid-eighties. I wanted to faint.
I stared at Max’s broad back all the way to the elevator. When I heard the familiar ding, I went back into my apartment and tried not to look too goofy.
Cadence stood up, holding her hands out for balance because evidently, she was fucked up too. “I’m gonna sleep this off in Naima’s room and when I wake up I’m going home because I’m a responsible lawyer who has work in the morning.”
I grabbed a chip from the bowl on the coffee table and shrugged. “Me too but here I am, ready for another glass and a refill on salsa.” I munched on my tortilla chip while I looked at Cadence.
“Girl, don’t listen to Kyle. Go lay down. I’ll be back there in a little while,” Naima said.
“Okay. Can’t promise you I’ll be awake when you get back here.” Cadence stumbled down the hall leaving Naima and me alone on the couch. I pulled my feet under my body and looked at her.
“When did you start liking girls?”
“Do you have a filter or does everything pour out of you like word diarrhea?”
“Mostly word diarrhea,” I told her with a sure nod.
“Clearly.” Naima fidgeted in her seat for a moment then shrugged her shoulders. Maybe she was trying to figure out when it happened too. “I guess I’m fluid. I like what I like when I like it. I like Cadence. A lot.” She wasn’t smiling about it though. Hell, she didn’t even look happy right then. The space between my brows creased and I looked at her curiously.
“Why don’t you sound happy about any of that, Naima?”
“Because I have to fucking leave for LA in a month and I can’t ask her to pack up and go with me so we can test out our relationship. I mean this is all so new but it’s worth exploring. I’ve never felt like this before.” Seeing my best friend so choked up really hit me in my fucking heart. I love to be detached but Naima was like my sister and she was clearly conflicted. I wished more than anything that I could make it all better for her. I pulled her close to me and hugged her tight.
“You’ll figure it out, Naima. If Cadence is worth it like you say she is, then you’ll both figure it out.”
“I hope you’re right, Kyle. I mean, she’s been hurt before and so have I. I don’t want to hurt her again. She knows I have to leave that’s why we’re not getting too deep but we both know where this could lead. We like being around each other entirely too much.”
“Right now all you guys can do is take it one day at a time. That’s it. Enjoy each other, Naima. I know I fuck with you a lot but I’m honestly so happy that you’re happy. I like Cadence a lot. Always have.”
“That means a lot coming from you because you don’t like anyone. Nobody fits your standards.” She paused to look at me and I knew a subject change was about to happen. “Speaking of which…”
See? I knew it was coming.
“How is it that you seem to be so starry-eyed over Max that you haven’t once put him through the wringer with your big ass book of standards? What’s going on there? Nobody bypasses that thing.”
“Because I’m not dating Max.”
Lie.
“We’re just fucking around.”
Also a lie.
Naima looked at me incredulously and then laughed. “Girl you are so full of it. You like Max. Youreallylike him. I personally think you like him so much that your standards don’t even matter because he matches you so well.”
“He’s fun to fuck and watch movies with. The end.” But it wasn’t the end. Even though we moved on to another conversation. The words that came out of my mouth felt gritty and wrong and I knew goddamn well I didn’t mean them.
Naima was right. Ididlike Max a lot and when I was around him my standards didn’t matter. I loved it and hated it at the same time. It was a back and forth war that I knew would shred me to bits if I didn’t grab it by the dick and deal with it.
…
MAXWELL
“Hey, you. How’s your brother? I’ve been texting you and haven’t heard anything back. I’d love to reschedule.” Sadie’s voice wasn’t one I expected to hear in the grocery store while I was looking at dog treats. I turned around to face her and found a polite smile to offer.
