Page 32 of Trust Issues
Gas.
Pretty sure it was gas.
“Hey, I noticed your vacuum is starting to lose suction. I went over a few patches and it didn’t pick up what it should have. You want me to take a look at it for you? I can fix it,” Owen offered. He was such a sweetheart. I wondered how the fuck him and Max came from the same home. I knew Max had another brother, Nathaniel, but I’d only seen him once then it was like the man vanished off the face of the earth. From what I remembered, he was fine as hell and suave as the shampoo.
“Aww, Owen, you’re so sweet. Also, yes to your question. I didn’t even realize it was losing suction. Work your magic. Now, if only you could fix your older brother…” I pondered aloud while tapping my chin. Owen stood to his feet and wrapped the vacuum cord up then rolled it toward the door.
“I’ll give it a look. Yall are crazy, by the way,” Owen mentioned before leaving. Once the door was closed, the living room seemed to grow tiny. Max seemed closer and my heart raced faster.
I needed more liquor.
Maybe there wasn’t enough liquor to bury what I was feeling. What the hellwasI feeling?
“Let me know how it goes with Austin, Kyle.” Max lingered by the door and a huge magnet pulled me closer to him.
“Okay. Put together a nineties sitcom playlist for us. I know I’m going to have a ton of nervous energy after he leaves.” My fingers tingled with the need to bring them to my mouth and nibble on the sides.
“If he does what he’s supposed to do with you there won’t be any energy left. Maybe I’m just speaking for myself.” His eyes were so fucking intense that his gaze set me on fire. He was the devil. That had to be it. That was the only thing I could surmise.
“Well, he’s not you so maybe he has no idea what he’s doing when it comes to me.” I shrugged my shoulders. A record scratch promptly sounded in my head and I blinked a few times. Max’s Adam apple bobbed in his throat before he offered me a polite smile.
What was that? We never smiled at each other.
Also, what the fuck did I just say to him?
Was I flirting?
Did I just flirt with Maxwell Parker?
I cringed at the thought and waved him to the other side of the hall. When I closed the door I pressed my back against it and sighed. I was spiraling into insanity. I was going to have to ask Naima and Cadence to drive me to the hospital so I could get a bed on the mental ward floor. I was busy trying to figure out what nail polish went with the pattern on the hospital gowns when there was a knock on my door. Barkley lost his shit and started barking like a crazy person.
He wasn’t used to me having guests. At least not guests that knocked on the door. Whenever I invited someone over, I held the door open for them when they walked down the hall. Max didn’t count. He barged in whenever he felt like it and Barkley was more than used to it.
I reached down and stroked his soft fur and he calmed down before I opened the door for Austin. He held four grocery bags in his strong hands. They were filled to the brim with food. My stomach growled out of curiosity. He never did tell me what the hell he was fixing for dinner.
“Let me grab a bag for you,” I said holding out my hand. Austin frowned at me and shook his head.
“No. Have a seat and let me handle the bags. I’m here to serve you, remember?”
Hmm…maybe Austin could work. I was always down for a little light worship and pampering. I showed him to the kitchen and he set the bags on the counter then began taking things out. I sat at the kitchen table and crossed my legs. If he didn’t want me to help then I wouldn’t. I had no problem getting comfy on my throne.
Okay. I’m lying like shit.
I cringed every damn time Austin opened one of my cabinets looking for something when he could have asked me. I was sitting right there pounding flute after flute of tequila.
The longer I watched Austin and got drunk while attempting to maintain some sort of conversation with him, the more I realized that I should never have to be uncomfortable in my own place.
Why did I invite him over here?
“Austin, why couldn’t we go out again?” I asked him point blank. I couldn’t hold in my curiosity.
“I don’t know. I wasn’t busy tonight and I guess I figured this would be more intimate than us sitting across from each other in a restaurant or something.” He flashed a devastatingly handsome smile but I wasn’t moved.
“I get that but this is technically our first date. Why not go somewhere?” At that point, I was asking for myself more so than asking him. It started to feel like I was settling.
First I let him come to my apartment even though it made me feel uncomfortable, then I’d be fucking him even though I wasn’t sure if he was worthy to be between my legs. The realization was sobering.
My mind chewed on the possibility of settling for a man like Austin. Every single time I tried to rationalize it, I got annoyed. He had no idea any of that was happening in my head. He was chatting away, laughing at his own jokes while he cooked seared salmon, pasta and sautéed spinach. At least he knew his way around the kitchen.
