Page 16 of Trust Issues
“Sit down.”
“I’m good. You can go ahead and…”
“Kyle. Sit. We’re not done.” I looked into his coffee-hued eyes and felt my stomach twist. He was probably making me sick. Since I felt queasy, I sat down and leaned away from Max toward the other end of the couch. He pressed play, and we continued watchingLiving Single.
After a few more episodes slid by, Max said, “Why do we do this?”
“Do what?” I asked, looking at him.
“Insult each other and then hang out,” he said. I blinked a few times at his question. I wished had the answer he was looking for because I was looking for it too. I shrugged my shoulders and shifted around in my seat.
“Is this your way of saying you don’t want to watch TV with me nightly? If so then just say it, Max. You know I don’t like passive aggressiveness.”
“That’s not what I’m saying. I’m just wondering why we hang out if we insult each other so much…” He waved his hand at me like he was giving up on the conundrum. I pushed out a sigh of relief and we went back to watching TV.
I wasn’t sure why I was relieved. I didn’t know if it came from Max dropping the issue or if it came from realizing he wasn’t going to cut off our nightly ritual. Either way, I was relieved once I knew we wouldn’t start talking about thoughts far too difficult for me to unpack.
We were almost done with the first season when I felt myself nodding off. It was my time to crawl across the hall. I reached over and shoved Max’s shoulder. It was so broad and hard. He jerked awake and looked at me with sleepy bedroom eyes. I blinked a few times and cleared my throat. For some reason, my words got hooked on something in my throat and wouldn’t come out.
“I’m gonna go now,” I told him. He didn’t have to stand and walk me ten feet to the front door but he did. He also didn’t have to open the door for me like I was a guest and not someone who ended up on his couch night after night to laugh and watch movies with him. I toyed with the ends of my hair and looked up at him determined to force my words out. Something about the way Max towered over me made me go mute.
Finally, I found my voice after a few silent seconds and said, “It’s relaxing, Max.” He stared at me, his strong chin tipped downward. He lifted his thick ebony brow and folded his arms across his chest.
When Max wasn’t in suits, when he wore plain clothes like the simple white t-shirt and sweats he had on, his skin glowed like onyx in the sun and his muscles were on full display. I skimmed over a million insults in my head but none of them would come out. I ran the pads of my fingers along my cotton-soft locs and shrugged.
“What’s relaxing?” Max finally asked, leaning his tall frame against the open door.
“Our nightly ritual. I can let my guard down. I don’t have to worry about who to trust.”
“You don’t trust anyone, especially me,” he pointed out with a scoff.
“I know, asshole. That’s what I mean. I know you. I know exactly what’s going to come out of your mouth. I already know you’re the spawn of Satan so I don’t have to worry about figuring out how you’re going to fuck me over. So…it’s relaxing.” I pushed out a breath and shook my hands out.
There. I said it. Whatever it was. I said it.
“Don’t worry, Kyle. I wouldn’t ever fuck you over or under or in between. You’re enough like a man to be one of my boys.” He slapped me on the back and I felt a crooked smile hanging on my lips.
“And even though I’m not a man, I’m still more of a man than you, Max. Goodnight.”
“Goodnight, sir.” He closed the door and I kicked it playfully before going home.
…
“I spent all night talking to James when I got home,” Cadence said. She sat on the couch with her feet propped up on Naima’s legs.
At work, Cadence was all business but it seemed like she was a different person when she hung out at my place. I wondered if that’s how I was too.
“All night? Girl, how did that happen?” Naima asked.
“Well, he messaged me when I walked in and we kept going back and forth. Finally, he suggested that we talk on the phone. Yall, his voice is so deep and sexy.” A smile spread across her face and I laughed.
“So are you gonna go out with him?”
“Yeah. We’re going out tonight,” she told us.
“Perfect. See? You were bitching about ten dollars last night and now you have a date. Boom. Paid for itself.”
“Since when does a date pay for itself?” Cadence asked.
