Page 6 of Margot
When I looked out of the huge window in the kitchen, I noticed the crescent moon looking back. I really had my head in the clouds when I was playing. I started when the sun was up and now the velvety winter sky was looking back at me.
“That’s usually when you’re the most beautiful,” he responded with a smile.
See? It was stuff like that, little things he always said and did that let me know I had the perfect man. I just wished I could be the perfect wife.
“You’re so sweet,” I sighed.
“Oh, when I was at the office, Ebony and her husband, Jovan were there. I told them about your concert last night and how proud I was of you. They asked if we wanted to grab dinner tonight. I know it’s last minute, so I didn’t give them an answer. I figured I’d ask you and let them know later.” Lennox rested against the wall casually, his ankles crossed and the wine glass firmly in his big hand.
I was so close to getting in a full ten hours. Evidently, eight flew by without me even noticing. If I could squeeze in two more, I’d feel so accomplished. Although, the thought of getting out of the house sounded good too. I was just happy to be with Lennox no matter where I was.
While I was deep in my own thoughts, I felt Lennox’s soft touch as he slid his fingers through my hair. I nearly jumped out of my skin. Jolts of electricity shot through my neck and tingles covered my scalp. It wasn’t a bad sensation it just wasn’t an expected one.
I flashed him a polite smile and his fingers curled inward. I hated how crushed he looked. I drew my shoulders up around my ears and wrapped my arms around myself.
“Yeah, we can go to dinner. I’ll get in my last couple of hours later on tonight. It’ll be good to get my mind off of some things,” I said.
“I’ll send Ebony and her husband a text to let them know dinner is on.” His smile was too tight. It matched the feeling in my chest. When he walked past me, I smelled his cologne and I wanted to bury my nose in his chest.
I didn’t know how to do that though.
I physically knew how to, of course, but I didn’t know how to move past the closed door in my mind. I rubbed my forehead with the heel of my hand and groaned.
I started to follow Lennox into the bedroom but the Steinway caught my eye and called out to me. I’d let Lennox blow off some steam while I practiced.
My index finger slid along the cool keys right before I settled onto the bench. I had no idea what I wanted to play but like magic,Gymnopédies No.1moved from the pit of me to the keys. I stared down at the keys while my fingers played each note from memory.
My stomach knotted as emotion unlocked itself from the steel chest inside of me and poured out. It fell from my fingertips in a way words would never fall from my lips.
I don’t know how long I’d been playing before Lennox appeared in front of me. I looked up at him and skipped a few notes. I was startled.
“I didn’t hear you walk up,” I said, swallowing a knot.
“You were in the moment. WhyGymnopédies?” He asked, studying my face. “Sutton, is there something we need to talk about?” It seemed like even uttering those words weighed him down.
“No,” I lied. The truth was that I wouldn’t know what to say if we did talk. I wouldn’t know how to apologize for pulling away when he touched my hair.
Lennox’s copper eyes narrowed as he regarded me like he was a human lie detector. “I’m always here for you but I can’t pull things out of you, babe. You have to talk to me. You’re always so locked inside that head of yours.” He walked over to me and I told myself not to flinch at the electricity in his touch. I told myself to sit there and take it. Let it wash over me.
Enjoy it.
“You talk better through music than you do through conversation, Sutton. Sometimes it drives me crazy. You’re out here playing this beautifully sad song. You’re making the piano cry and it’s fucking breathtaking but I wish you’d tell me everything you tell those keys.”
When his warm palm cupped my face, I didn’t flinch even though my insides buzzed and red flags blared to life loudly.
So loudly.
I fought the jumbled noise in my head and the heaviness in my chest that told me everything was wrong. Nothing was wrong in reality. Lennox was touching me and that was okay. I knew it felt nice but I wish I knew why I wanted to push him away. The urge was always strongest when he touched me at the piano.
I looked up at his bright eyes with tears in mine. I felt like a mad woman for having the insatiable urge to run away from the gentlest man I’d ever known.
I forced my hand to touch his. I wanted him to hold his caress right there. I didn’t want him to move because as terrified as I was, I needed him to show me he still loved me and wouldn’t run away.
When he sat beside me and pulled me into his arms, wrapping me in a warm hug, I clutched him like my life depended on it. “I’m here, Sutton. Sometimes, you gotta let me know that you’re here too though.”
“I know.” I sniffled against his chest. He felt so right. He felt like church on Sunday. Like when I broke apart from our hug, sins would roll off my soul like oil on water. “We’ll talk after dinner, I promise,” I told him.
It was the hardest thing, but I tipped my head back and pressed my mouth to his. His lips were warm and full and I wanted to deepen the kiss. I wanted to taste the wine on his tongue but that closed door wouldn’t let me reach out.
