Page 94 of Margot
“God, no wonder Margot loves fucking you.” She slapped a hand over her mouth and laughed a little at dropping the f-bomb. I drew my head back and looked at her in shock.
“Did Sutton English just sayfuck? I mean…did she just say fuck without being in the middle of cursing me out. Let me rephrase,” I laughed.
“Shut up, Lennox. Your foul mouth is rubbing off on me.”
“Oh yeah? Let’s go in the bedroom and I’ll rub my foul mouth all over you.” Sutton bit her bottom lip and stood up in the tub. I watched the water run down her perfect body and shook my head.
I was the luckiest man on earth.
I couldn’t get enough of my wife and it seemed like she couldn’t get enough of me either. I had to keep checking to make sure Margot hadn’t made an appearance. I didn’t want the night to be too good to be true but I was bracing myself for if it was.
When Sutton told me earlier that Margot wouldn’t show tonight, I thought I’d be sad but being able to make love to Sutton while she was herself and fully conscious was the ultimate. I fucked her until she came multiple times and she begged me to keep going. I don’t remember how long we went at it but I do know we both passed out well after midnight. I was living in a fucking dream.
The same thing happened the next day and the day after. On Saturday when I woke up, I expected to see Sutton how she’d been waking up every morning, Naked or in her robe sitting at the piano, practicing. Instead, she was sitting on the side of the bed, staring down at her and Margot’s journal.
“Everything okay?” I asked, stretching. She shook her head quickly and plopped the journal in the middle of the bed. I expected to see a new entry from Margot. Instead, I saw three from Sutton.
“Have you talked to Margot? I feel like I’ve been in control all this time.”
“No, I haven’t talked to her. It’s been you all this time, baby.” I slid over to her side of the bed and kissed the top of her head.
“I keep writing to her and keep looking for her in my mind but she’s gone quiet. I know she’s still in there. I can feel her…if that makes sense.” Sutton reached up and stroked my hand gently. “I can understand if she needed time after playing the piano for the first time in a while but I have a concert tonight and I wanted to make sure she was okay before I went on. I don’t want to have a moment on stage.” She sighed softly and rubbed her temples.
“If you’re worried about it, talk to Dr. Adler in our appointment today before your concert.”
Sutton practiced for days until the stiffness and soreness left her hand and then she hopped right back into work. The Baltimore Symphony Orchestra welcomed her back with open arms. They even booted their stand-in principle pianist to move her back in. I understood why she wanted to make sure Margot’s stress level was low.
If Margot got scared and made Sutton seize up, it wouldn’t be good. She looked at me and then buried her face in her hands. “No, Lennox. That’s our marriage counseling session. It’s not nearly long enough. Plus, I don’t want to hijack it.”
“This still has to do with you. I don’t mind if you touch on it. Our marriage is amazing right now. I can guarantee there isn’t much to talk about. So get dressed and let’s grab some coffee from Tuesday’s Café then go.” She smiled at me and nodded her head. Before I walked into the bathroom, I saw her pick up the journal again and stare at it as if words from Margot would magically appear.
I was starting to worry about Margot myself. Before I didn’t think anything of it but I wondered if Sutton playing the piano after so long really rocked her. I thought about the way she broke down after she played the day her splint was removed and prayed it didn’t happen when she played her concert tonight.
…
“Lennox, Sutton, it’s good to see you guys.” We still had sessions together with Dr. Adler but Sutton saw her more alone. They’d been working together to dig through her repressed memories and helping Sutton cope with and manage having DID.
“It’s good to see you too, doc,” I smiled.
“So, how have things been since last week? Sutton, I see your splint is gone. Congratulations.”
“Thank you. My finger feels great. I’ve started playing again.”
“Oh? How has that gone so far?” Dr. Adler asked. When she glanced at me, I couldn’t stop smiling. It was permanently etched on my face.
The turn around Sutton made stitched my universe back together. I didn’t have a single complaint.
“Wonderfully. She had a rough time when she first played but we talked through it,” I told her.
“Mind telling me what the trouble was when she first played the piano?” Dr. Adler asked.
“I could feel Margot,” Sutton spoke up. Her slender fingers dug into the suede couch but not because she was gripping it. She was playing the imaginary piano. “She was angry and scared. The more I played, the more stressed she got. Then Lennox ran his fingers through my hair and I got stressed.” Sutton paused to shake her hands out then continued, “It was a lot to deal with but I told Lennox not to stop touching my hair. I knew that I wasn’t afraid of him. Just like I know Margot isn’t really afraid of the piano.”
“That’s a very good observation, Sutton. How did you feel having Lennox touch you while you played the piano?”
“I felt scared. Like I wanted to push him away and run.”
“You knew that wasn’t how you felt toward your husband though.” Dr. Adler said with a proud smile.
