Page 84 of Margot
Once I was done, I shut the water off then I went back into the bedroom. I could tell immediately that Margot had left and Sutton was back. The difference in energies between their two personas was vastly different.
I was happy to see Sutton sitting in bed with her robe on and her hair brushed into a high ponytail. I wished I could have seen the transformation.
“How does she write so neatly with a broken finger?” Sutton was in awe of Margot’s handwriting until she looked up and saw me standing there in a towel. She blinked a few times and color rose to the apples of her cheeks.
“You look…nice,” she stammered, tucking a wisp of hair behind her ear. “I’m guessing I must have thought you lookedreallynice earlier since Margot’s clearly been in control.” She pressed her thighs together and cleared her throat.
“You only think I look nice because I’m half-naked,” I joked. I wasn’t expecting a laugh but when I got one, I paused to listen. Even their laughs were different. It made me smile.
“Now I know why I was always so sore when we were in Honolulu. You were…”
“Fucking the shit out of you daily? Yes. I was,” I chuckled. “What did Margot write?”
“That she thinks I hate her and that she doesn’t know if sleeping with you is considered cheating or not but she’s not going to stop.” Sutton’s perfectly arched brows knitted together for a moment before she laughed a little. “She’s funny.”
“She is. Just like you. And she probably writes so neatly because she’s left-handed. You’re right-handed.” I extended my pointer and gestured to the splint on her right hand. She gave me a sheepish smile and nodded.
“You know a lot about her.”
“I know a lot about you, Sutton. It doesn’t matter how many pieces of you there are. I know all of them. I love them all.” I sat on the edge of the bed and to my surprise, Sutton came to sit beside me.
“Margot said that she’s pretty sure she’s my sexuality and my bad memories from childhood. Do you think that’s possible?” I already knew the path she was headed down and I had to brace myself to deal with the emotional wreckage when she uncovered what Margot’s presence meant.
“Yeah, I think that’s very possible,” I nodded. Sutton tucked her feet under her body and looked at me.
“So she would have shown up when I first started having sex. I don’t remember the first time I had sex besides you. Maybe she took over when I lost my virginity?”
“She did.” I swallowed a lump in my throat and watched Sutton’s wheels spin.
“Did she tell you how old I was when she popped up? I guess I had a traumatic first time.” The innocence in Sutton’s voice wrecked me. My chest felt heavy and I wished I could shield her from the truth.
I was able to understand Margot’s presence even more at that moment. I understood why she existed and why she sacrificed herself to keep all the bad memories locked away. She didn’t want Sutton to feel that pain and betrayal.
The only person Sutton could rely on was herself.
“She…uh…she said her first memories were when she was four-years-old.” I rubbed the back of my neck and watched Sutton’s face. At first, it was without expression, then slowly, her brows furrowed and she began the calculations.
“Four?” Her voice was creaky like the heaviness of reality was beginning to settle in and it was too much. “But that’s when I started taking lessons,” her laugh was painted with disbelief.
“Yeah…it is.”
“How? What happened?” Now her voice was trembling. Her chin buckled under her fight for composure.
“Your piano teacher, Sutton. He…” I hung my head down because I just…I couldn’t.
How the fuck do you look someone in the eyes and tell them something about themselves that’s so heartbreaking? My world was a ball of confusion. Sutton needed to know what happened to her but god, I didn’t want to be the one to tell her. I thought maybe she’d discover it on her own.
“Mr. DuBois? No, that can’t be right, Lennox. I-I don’t have a single bad thought or feeling toward him. He’s always so kind and…” Sutton grew quiet and I got up to put on clothes. I had to move around. I didn’t know what else to do.
She’d turned completely silent. I wasn’t sure if Margot was about to surface or what, but I didn’t take my eyes off her.
…
