Page 7 of Margot
Lennox took the lead and parted my timid lips with his tongue while his fingers threaded through my hair. I was splitting in two. I was two minds and two consciousnesses. One part of me loved the way he possessed me with his kiss. It was sweet and rich and it made me so slick between my thighs.
The other part of me wanted to curl into a ball and beg him never to touch me again. I wanted to yell at him and shove him.
I hid that part of me somewhere else. Somewhere dark where it didn’t get a chance to see the light of day because it would ruin my marriage and that’s not what I wanted.
So I wrestled with myself while I kissed my husband and I knew to him it seemed like I wasn’t into it. I knew to him, I seemed far away. I just didn’t know how to tell him that I was inexplicably torn.
When he pulled away from me, he rested his forehead against mine and shut his eyes. “Promise me we’ll talk when we get home from dinner,” he said in a hushed tone. I nodded and wrapped my fingers around his wrists. Touching him this way at the piano wasn’t bad. I could do this kind of touching.
“I promise,” I told him, earnestly. Determination settled into my gut. This time I wouldn’t run away from the conversation…whatever it was or wherever it led us. This time I would face it. I’d been running for years. At some point, I’d have to stop and we’d have to figure out where our marriage would go.
“Did you text Ebony and her husband?” I asked him, trying to switch the topic a bit. My head was pounding.
“I did. They said they know the owner of a new restaurant in Ellicott City. They sent me the address.” He stood and I stared at him, wondering what was wrong with me.
That man was fine.
When I stood in front of him, I had to crane my neck so I could look into his eyes. “Let’s get dressed because I know traffic is insane.” Lennox glanced at his watch and I couldn’t do much more than stare at him.
When he turned to walk into our bedroom, I followed him like a string tethered us together. I sat on the bed, unsure of what to wear and going over all the outfits I actually liked in my head. “Wear something casual,” Lennox said as if he could read my thoughts.
I was so used to wearing fancy dresses for performances that I forgot what casual actually meant. I either wore gorgeous gowns or pajamas. There was no in between.
I walked into the closet and looked at a few things before deciding on a pale pink blouse and a pair of skinny gray slacks. When I walked out and started to brush my hair into a bun, Lennox stopped me.
He came up behind me and gently placed his hands over mine before lowering them to my sides. “Leave your hair down. It’s perfect that way, Sutton.”
“You sure?” I asked with a soft frown.
“I’m sure. I wish you’d let me touch it more. It’s so soft,” he sighed. I heard the reverence in his voice like I was the most beautiful woman on the face of the earth. It gave me butterflies
“You’re such a sweetheart,” I told him. I stood in the mirror and brushed my hair for a while, mentally prepping myself to go out with Lennox’s co-workers.
We had dinner with Ebony and her husband once before and they were pleasant enough. I had to leave early though because I hadn’t logged enough practice hours. Tonight might be a repeat but I would try my best to stay.
…
When we arrived at the restaurant, Lennox led me inside with his hand on my lower back. I felt mildly relaxed until I saw Ebony and her husband. She was dressed to the nines. There was nothing casual about her dress and the way it plunged down to her huge breasts.
I immediately felt self-conscious of my modest C cups in the presence of her double-D’s. Her husband shook my hand and reintroduced himself to me. I was glad because I’d forgotten his name.
“You’re Sutton, right? I’m Jovan. I know last time we tried to all have dinner you had to run.”
“Yes, I’m sorry about that. Jovan, it’s nice to meet you…again. I’ll try not to run off tonight,” I laughed. Inside, I could feel my eyes rolling though. He didn’t do anything to me. He didn’t even have a chance to rub me the wrong way. I had no reason for feeling so snippy toward him.
I shook Ebony’s hand next while Jovan and Lennox spoke amongst themselves.
“You look so nice,” Ebony smiled.
“Thanks, you too.” Even though I hated small talk, I was a pro at navigating it. I had to be. There was tons of small talk before and after performances. “This is such a gorgeous restaurant. Lennox told me you know the owner,” I said, tilting my head back to admire the exposed brick walls and the colorful art pieces that were strategically placed.
“I do, my best friend from college opened this little spot up a few months ago. Jovan and I always make sure to spread the word about it whenever we can. We love getting out and making sure we see all the sights Baltimore and the surrounding areas have to offer.” She paused for a moment and examined me from head to toe. I felt her scrutiny and tried to ignore it. “You must not get out much besides playing at concerts, huh?” Her words were coated in something bitter.
I flashed a smile and shrugged my shoulders. “No, I don’t. Being a pianist is extremely taxing and time-consuming. It takes serious dedication.”
“And nobody has dedication like Sutton. I mean she will practice over and over for ten hours a day. She’s amazing,” Lennox chimed in and put his arm protectively around my shoulders. I wonder if he heard the cattiness in Ebony’s voice too.
“Wow, that is amazing,” Jovan chuckled. “Come on, guys. Let me show you to our table.”
