Page 119 of Margot
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
SUTTON
I woke up with my head on Lennox’s chest and my arms around him like I was clinging to him for dear life. When I moved to sit up, he sat up too. “Were you sleeping light?” I asked him, stretching my arms above my head.
“Yeah, I wanted to look at you when you woke up.” He did too. He stared at me like he was searching my eyes for something.
“Everything okay? I know Margot was all over the place but I pretty much felt everything. It was weird like I still had a lot of control but it felt like parts of Margot were blocked off. I’m glad I’m seeing Dr. Adler today because that’s never happened before.” Lennox let out a deep sigh and handed me the journal I shared with Margot.
“Oh, did she write me back?” I closed my eyes for a minute and reached into my mind but I couldn’t picture the forest as vividly as before. My eyes popped open for a second then I snapped them shut again.
Something was wrong.
It was like trying to remember something that kept evading me. I spoke Margot’s name in my mind but nothing happened. I was talking to myself.
“I can’t find her. I can barely see the forest. My mind is just…”
“Normal?” Lennox asked, rubbing my leg.
“Yeah, I guess. I mean there’s not even a locked door.” My stomach jittered with nerves and I took the journal in my hands. I flipped eagerly to the last page and read the short note she left for me.
Sutton,
I love you. I’m proud of you. Always.
Love,
Margot
For some reason, it made me feel incredibly sad. It washed over me like a tidal wave and a sob choked me.
“What the fuck is happening? It feels like I’m going to die.”
“Come here, Sutton.” Lennox’s deep voice roped me in like a lasso. I scrambled to him, mashing my body against his frantically.
“Why did that note make me so sad?”
“I don’t know how to tell you this so I’m going to take a page from Margot’s book and be direct. Margot left last night, Sutton. I’m not sure what that means for you or your headspace but she said she served her purpose.”
No.
What he was saying couldn’t be right.
I loved Margot like a sister.
Like a part of me.
Words couldn’t properly express the deep sense of loss I felt growing in my chest so I didn’t speak. The loss grew like a black hole sucking everything in voraciously.
“Sutton, look at me. It’s going to be okay. I was shaken up by it too but she seemed like she knew what she needed to do.”
“How the fuck could she just leave though? She’s a part of me. How the hell does that even work?” Lennox stared at me in awe. “What?” I frowned.
“I don’t know, it’s weird. It’s like you’re flipping back and for the between yourself and Margot.” He stared into my eyes and smiled a little. “You even have the spark in your eyes that she always had.”
“I need to talk to Dr. Adler now.” I hopped up and started getting dressed. The sadness from losing Margot was staggering. It felt like I was walking through water and I hated it.
“Now? You have an appointment this afternoon, Sutton.”
