Page 114 of Margot
“I’m sorry. Let me explain,” I said, watching Cordelia from where I was seated. There were three people in front of her in line. “I have DID or dissociative identity disorder. It used to be called…”
Monica interrupted politely and said, “I know what DID is. I’m a registered nurse. I spent many years working in the mental health wing at the hospital.” She radiated compassion and it warmed my heart.
“Oh, okay. That’s great so I don’t have to explain alters to you,” I sighed with relief.
“Not at all. So is Sutton an alter or…”
“I’m an alter. I’m Margot. Nice to meet you.” We shook hands again and that time it felt genuine because I was being myself.
“Margot, very nice to meet you.”
“The entire reason I exist is because of DuBois.” I didn’t expect my voice to tremble the way it did. “I started piano lessons with him when I was four. He started molesting me and shortly after, it turned into full-on rape. I didn’t know how to cope at such a young age so…”
“You split. Wow. Fuck.” She pushed her fingers through her hair. Her knee began bouncing rapidly as she looked over her shoulder at Cordelia.
“I don’t want him to continue doing this sick shit to anyone else. I’ve reached out to so many parents but it’s like nobody wants to admit what’s happening. I know this bastard is hurting other girls.” Lennox reached over and rubbed my back slowly. I didn’t realize how much I needed his contact.
“Cori just left from lessons with Mr. DuBois.” Monica could barely hold herself together.
“Like…just now?” I stammered.
“Just now.” She shifted in her seat and looked over at Cordelia again. When she looked at me she had tears in her eyes. “For the past week, she hasn’t been herself. She’s begged me to skip lessons. She told me she didn’t like Mr. DuBois anymore. I asked her why and she wouldn’t tell me. I decided that after today, I wouldn’t make her go back.” She broke down in tears and I moved to hug her.
“It’s going to be okay, Monica,” I told her quietly.
“My baby. I should have listened to her last week. I just…didn’t know.”
“Look at me,” I demanded. “I wish I had a mother like you. I wish every single girl still taking lessons from that monster had a mother like you. At least you’re listening now. You made the choice to listen before I reached out, Monica. You’re a good mom, okay?” I hugged her again and she nodded.
“We should go,” Lennox said, his eyes fixed on the chair the little girl had been sitting in. Cordelia walked toward us with a slice of cake but no smile. I hated that look in her eyes. It was numb. I knew that feeling because I spent most of my childhood being numb.
“Go?” Monica quizzed. “We just got started. I’d like to talk to you two more.”
“I understand,” Lennox nodded. “Give us one moment.” He stood and motioned for me to follow him. We went behind the closest bookshelf and we were hidden from view.
“Lennox, what the hell?”
“That little girl needs to get to the ER immediately.” His teeth were clenched and his Adam’s apple wobbled in his throat. Rage vibrated from him like heat waves.
“You think DuBois…” I swallowed the lump in my throat and clamped my hand over my mouth, stifling a sob.
“Iknowhe did. There’s a stain in her seat. Margot, you’re going to have to handle that because I’m going to call the fucking cops. If I don’t I will find that motherfucker myself and cut his dick off.” I’d never seen Lennox so furious. He stalked away from me while he pulled his phone out. My mind ticked back into action and I rushed over to Monica and Cordelia.
“Can you stand up for me, Cordelia?” I asked in the sweetest voice I could muster. In reality, I wanted to scream and cry and hold that child to my chest as if I could mend my own inner-child by doing so.
She looked confused but she stood and I noticed the way she winced. My stomach turned when I saw the dime-sized crimson drop on the chair beneath her. I glanced at Monica and signaled for her to look as well while I talked to Cordelia about what kind of cake she got.
The strangled sob that broke free from Monica made my knees go weak and my heart fall to my feet. “We have to go now,” I told her. Cordelia spun around to look at her mother and she rushed over so she could give her a hug.
“Mommy, what’s wrong?”
“Baby, did Mr. DuBois hurt you?” I could tell by the way Monica’s face shook that it took every thread of sanity for her to remain calm. Cordelia’s pretty eyes darted around looking between her mother and me. “Please, Cori. You can tell me. Margot is a friend. You can trust her. I need to know.”
Cordelia’s thin body shook like a leaf in the wind. She nodded her head and then buried her face in her mother’s chest.
I had to walk away for a moment because the weight of everything threatened to collapse my heart. So many emotions coursed through me that I felt dizzy. I resented not having a mother as amazing as Monica and I hated having to endure years of torture from someone I thought I could trust. I felt inconsolable sadness for Cordelia and I felt rage for Monica.
“Margot,” Monica called out. Her arm was firmly around her daughter’s shoulders like she wouldn’t ever let go. I didn’t blame her. “We’re going to the ER now. Can I call you when we’re done?”
