Page 105 of Margot
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
SUTTON
Once Margot was able to play the piano without freaking out, I started to take control again. For weeks, we traded control back and forth. She took the daytime and handled practice. I took the nighttime and handled Lennox. We were both working through our issues diligently.
Dr. Adler informed both Margot and I that we’d achieved what’s known as co-consciousness in people who have DID. That meant we could converse like any other people only there was one physical body. It was like having a best friend in my mind.
I remained in control when I had shows and today was one of those days. I spent hours practicing before rehearsal and Margot was quiet. I could feel her though. Being able to reach into my mind with quiet meditation and feel her presence was so damn reassuring.
When I realized it was time for me to go, I rushed into the bedroom and grabbed our journal. I wrote Margot a quick note telling her some songs I wanted her to try in the morning and then I grabbed my dress for the performance and left.
When I walked into the Meyerhoff building, Sarah greeted me with a huge smile. It was a smile that held a secret though, I could tell. I walked into the rehearsal room and hung my dress up on a wardrobe rack then turned to face her.
I felt Margot somewhere rolling her eyes because she thought Sarah was far too chipper. It rubbed her the wrong way. She was just being mean though.
“What are you hiding?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Well, it depends. How are you feeling? Are you in one of your snappy moods?” She quizzed. Snappy mood meant Margot, essentially. It’s exactly how my parents used to treat me when they thought I had an attitude. They’d ask which Sutton they were talking to that day. It wasn’t like they cared though.
“I’m fine.” I smiled at her for good measure and she seemed to be okay with it. I set my bag down at the piano and settled on the bench so I could start practicing.
“Well, I heard that the artistic planning manager for the New York City Philharmonic is going to be in the audience. It’s totally last minute. I heard from a little birdie that she wants to speak to you after the show.” Sarah’s face turned crimson the longer she stared at me.
My eyes went wide and I turned away from the sheet music I was setting up. Nerves bounced around in my belly, spilling over and running rampant through the rest of my body. I was glad I was sitting because my knees felt like jelly.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” I blinked.
“No. I’m not and for the record, can I just say that I love this new and relaxed Sutton? I thought you were going to be a basket case after you broke your finger.”
“I’m fine. I think breaking my finger is exactly what I needed to help me loosen up a bit. Now, who told you that the planning manager was here?” I probed.
“Not telling,” she sang before zipping her lips shut and twirling away. Right then, I was with Margot. I rolled my eyes the second she turned her back.
I only had twenty minutes to practice before rehearsal so I ran through my Chopin etudes and blocked out the other voices and instruments in the background. Since I’d been sharing headspace with Margot, I’d become an expert at blocking things out and letting them filter in at my discretion.
When it was show time, I went to the back where small dressing rooms were and put on my dress. When I looked at myself in the mirror, I could hear Margot saying, “Yes, bitch. You’re going to kill it. The dress is sexy too. Lennox is going to go ape shit. Talk dirty tonight.”
“Okay,” I chuckled quietly before adjusting my tits in the backless silver dress I wore. I put on a coat of nude lip gloss and took a deep breath before heading to the stage. It was time to knock my performance out of the fucking park.
When the thick curtain was hoisted into the air, I scanned the faces I could see in the audience as usual. I knew Lennox was at work so I wasn’t expecting to see him but his copper eyes were staring directly at me.
He came.
My heart sped up and I forced myself not to smile. He was right in the damn front though and I could see the smile shining on his face. Dammit.
I turned my gaze to the piano and when it was my time to play, I played the shit out of those notes. I played for Lennox, hoping he’d hear the romance in the melody. I played for Margot, hoping she’d hear the love. I played for the planning manager hoping she’d hear my talent.
The performance flowed until intermission and the moment the curtain lowered, I bolted from my seat. I had so much energy jittering through my limbs that it would have been impossible not to move.
“Sutton English?” An unfamiliar voice called out to me. I searched through the small crowd of musicians backstage to see a tall woman with her hair pulled back, wearing glasses.
“Yes, hello,” I nodded, shaking her hand.
“Hi, I’m Mary Richardson from the New York City Philharmonic. You play even better than I’ve heard on recordings, Sutton. This is after you broke your finger?” Her blue-eyed gaze dropped to my hands and I self-consciously curled my fingers inward.
“Yes, I got the splint off last month. I’ve been playing ever since I got the okay.”
“You are phenomenal. I know before I offered you a chance to come and play with the Philharmonic but we have an open space for a solo pianist this summer. I think that would be a better fit for you. You’re a star, you should be heard alone.”
