Page 10 of Margot
“Sutton, I want us to start a family eventually.”
A family?
“You mean like having kids?” I creaked. My throat was parched and dry. Words stuck to the sides of my esophagus on the way out.
“Yes, like having kids.” A million thoughts zipped through my mind. They all moved by too fast for me to concentrate on one in particular.
I blinked and looked up at Lennox, unsure of what to say. When we got engaged and talked about having a family, I told him I wanted one eventually. I never gave it any thought after that.
“You don’t want kids anymore?” He asked after a few beats of silence.
“I guess I haven’t been giving it any thought. These past two years have been a whirlwind and…”
“I get it, Sutton.”
“No, it’s not that I don’t want kids, I just think I need to fix myself before I have a little person dependent on me. Can you imagine if we had a child and I couldn’t express my love properly? It would be detrimental.”
“Shit, you’re right. Well does that mean you’re open to therapy?” The hope in his voice was too heavy for me to ignore. Maybe finally going to therapy would help us over whatever barrier stood between us.
As scary as it was, I nodded my head. “Yeah, I’m open to it as long as we do it together.” Seeing the smile on Lennox’s face warmed me from the inside out like a million fireflies in my belly.
I launched into his arms without warning and I think it stunned him. He froze for a second before wrapping his long arms around me. They felt like bands of steel holding my broken pieces in place.
When he swept me into his arms, I knew where we were headed and I was okay with it. I wanted my husband to make love to me no matter how high my barrier was.
…
