Page 56 of Nocturnal Sins
“Yeah…me too,” I admitted with a slight nod. We seemed to take a collective sigh as we sat around the kitchen table.
“I still don’t want Santana staying in the house but he’s free to come over whenever. I don’t care what you have to say about it Samira. If you’re in a relationship with anyone, they cannot stay in this house. When you get your own place you can live with whoever you want.
I also don’t think I can handle seeing any PDA. Keep that shit behind my back, please.” A groan left his mouth before he looked at me. “I can take strides to respect you two if you can respect that this will never be easy for me to digest.”
“Fair enough,” I responded. Things were nowhere near healed between us all but they weren’t leaking blood and resentment either. It was a few steps in the right direction.
Once the tension melted away because we were too tired to uphold it, Sammie started on a big dinner. It smelled like Mom’s cooking and my stomach rumbled both from hunger and nostalgia.
“Mijo, let me speak to you outside,” Pop stood and fished out a cigarette before heading to the back door. I followed him after stealing one last glance at Sammie. My breath snagged every time I looked at her. I shook the stardust from my eyes and went outside.
Tall oak trees and lush grass painted our backyard. Sammie still kept up with the marigolds Mom loved so much and the sight of them warmed my insides. It had been a long time since I sat out there.
Memories of Sammie and I running through the grass while I chased her flooded my mind. She always screamed and giggled so loudly. The sound always made my chest tingle and prickle with something. Maybe what I could never put my finger on back then was a love I knew would never be acceptable.
“What’s up, Pop?” I asked with a heavy sigh.
“My mind is still reeling from seeing you and Samira hugging and kissing. I’m still struggling with the thought of figuring out where to place you in my life now and…I haven’t come up with much. You’re still my little boy, Santana. You’re bigger than me probably stronger too.” A dry chuckle escaped him and I smiled a little.
“I’m guessing I could take you, old man.”
“I wouldn’t even fight you. I’d shoot you. I’m too old to throw fists around.” We both laughed and a little of the ache in my chest dissipated. I didn’t even know I had an ache until it left. “Santana, promise me you’re not dicking your sister—I mean, Samira around. Christ, can I even call her your sister anymore?” He rubbed his forehead then tapped gray ashes into the grass.
“Nah. Probably not,” I said. I pictured the way Sammie’s long legs hung over my shoulders while I fucked her wet pussy. Nah, calling her my sister was dead now. She was something else.
We were something else to each other. Something so huge we were only closing in on the tip of it. I wanted us to explore the depths for the rest of our lives.
“Please tell me you really love her,” Pop said, pulling my thoughts back to him.
“I do,” I nodded. “I love her more than I’ve ever loved anything or anyone. I’m not out to play games with her. I would have never allowed things to go this far if I wasn’t serious.” I wasn’t a man of many words, action was more suitable for me but when it came to talking about how much I loved Sammie, I was all words and action.
I would bring down the stars and wrap her in them so the stars in her eyes would be in familiar company. I would do anything to make her smile and to keep us together. I didn’t care anymore about what anyone else thought. Fuck them.
“You think she’s serious about you too?” He asked, finishing his cigarette.
“I do,” I nodded in response.
“Then I’m only going to ask that you take care of her and don’t break her heart. I think heartbreak coming from you would rip her apart more than it would coming from anyone else.”
“You’re right, Pop. Lucky for both of us, I don’t plan to play with her heart. I’m in it for the long haul.”
“Long haul, huh?” Pop regarded me thoughtfully. His green eyes took on a serene peace that I hadn’t seen since before he saw Sammie and I kissing outside. “Okay, mijo. Be careful with her.” His eyes crinkled at the corners and he patted me on the shoulder.
“Hey, come on. Dinner is almost ready. You two should be setting the table.” Sammie poked her head out of the door and looked from me to Pop. The sun was retiring in the sky casting a masterpiece of colors across the clouds but none as beautiful as Sammie with her pouty lips and knitted brows. I couldn’t help but smile at her.
“We’re coming, Sam.” Pop shook his head at her just as she disappeared inside the house. “She’s just like Alina with all that sass.”
“Yeah, Mom would love how much she’s grown.” Inside of the house smelled even better than it did when I went outside. Sammie was cooking her ass off.
“I think about your mother every day,” Pop told me with heavy words. The dining room was silent as he set down plates around the table.
“Me too.” I swallowed back the knot forming in my throat. Soon it would be too thick to push down. Soon, I wouldn’t be able to speak.
“She loved you more than anything in life, Santana. You and Samira were her world.” His stare was far off. My gaze dropped to the wooden table beneath my hands and I tried to fight off the memories trying to violently overtake me.
It was no use.
I remembered sitting in class wishing for the day to be over when I heard my name called over the loudspeaker. I wasn’t a stranger to being in trouble so I thought nothing of it when I pushed open the principal’s door. Pop was already there and so was Sammie. She had tears in her beautiful green eyes and she couldn’t bear to look at me. A few seconds after me standing there, Sammie buried her head in Pop’s arm.
