Page 1 of Nocturnal Sins
CHAPTER ONE
Samira
Thunderous voices splintered my cozy sleep into a million pieces. What the fuck time was it? I jolted upright in bed and let my eyes adjust to the pitch-black room. I turned to my left and jammed my thumb against the home button on my phone.
Four in the morning?
Why was Papa yelling at four in the morning?
I pulled my slumber-laden body from the warmth of my bed and crept into the hallway. The thunder grew louder. There were two voices. One I recognized as my father and the other one, the low and grumbly one with far too much attitude to be shouting back at Papa, that was Santana.
He was the only explanation for why my father was shouting at that hour. I rolled my lips between my teeth and moved to the top step. Smooth wood beneath my feet granted me silent passage,thank god. I didn’t want to make a single noise.
I tugged locks of wild sandy hair behind my ear so I could hear. The thunder grew more intense. My belly clenched as I listened.
“All I asked you to do was go to school, Santana! You can’t do one thing I ask? You always fuck up everything righteous I set in front of you.” I caught a glimpse of Papa as he paced near the front door.
If I could see him then he damn sure would be able to see me. I pulled my feet into the shadows and studied my blood red toenails. They shone like sinful candies even in the dark.
“Pop, I tried to do what you wanted and it didn’t work out. I’m tired of you forcing me on a path that I never wanted. I didn’t want to go away to school. That’s what you wanted for me. I don’t fit into the box you’re trying to put me in.” Santana came into view next.
He was broader than I remembered. I hadn’t seen him since he left for college. Thick wedges of muscle and hard lines moved beneath his white t-shirt every time he gestured wildly. Seeing him over Facetime calls and pictures was far different than seeing him twenty feet away from me.
Even though Papa was chewing him out, I was happy he was back. I still needed to knowwhyhe was back though, so I listened on.
Papa rested an elbow on the banister and it fussed beneath his weight. He looked at Santana with pinched brows and narrowed green eyes, examining him like a shrink. His lips were tight as if he had to struggle to keep words inside himself instead of launching them at Santana’s head like projectiles. Papa’s neck was tight as he tipped his head back to stare at the ceiling.
Tension settled into the silence, coating it thickly. I prayed neither of them could hear my thumping heart. I flared my nostrils to suck in more air so I didn’t make a noise through my mouth.
“Come with me. I want to show you something in the restaurant,” Papa finally spoke after a long beat of silence. Santana regarded him, his eyebrow raised and his bulky arms folded, guarding his chest. He knew Papa liked to hit when he was angry and most of those jabs landed square in the middle of Santana’s chest. It didn’t matter if he was twice Papa’s size.
Santana uttered a confused, “Now?”
“Now.” Papa’s words were gravel between gritted teeth as he stalked off. Santana hesitated a moment, pushing a hand through his hair before following Papa.
Once they were both out of earshot, I trembled with an exhale.
What the entire fuck was that?
I wanted a climactic ending. I wanted to know why my brother was home from school so early. It was only April and he wasn’t supposed to come home for the summer until the end of May.
I wanted the dramatic details that always came with Santana and Papa’s arguments. I fully expected him to storm up the stairs in a tornado of fury and fall to my bed, threatening to snap it in half with his bulk as he vented. I expected to calm him with silent nods while I fingered his smooth midnight-colored hair. None of that happened though.
I stood to my feet, passing by Papa’s room and catching hints of his familiar scent. He always smelled like food and cologne. It wasn’t a bad mixture. It was one I came to know and love. It signaled security and warmth. It made me think about our family restaurant, Papa’s.
My mind spun backward into golden-coated nostalgia. I saw myself with tawny hair in long bouncy ponytails adorned with colorful baubles running around the tables in the sitting area of the restaurant while Santana chased me. I could still hear the way he growled, pretending to be a scary monster.
I was never scared though.
If anything, the thought of a monster chasing me was exciting. The thought of the monstercatchingme made me burn. I was never a normal kid though. At least not normal by everyone else’s standards.
I always wondered what it would be like to actually meet the monsters under my bed instead of chasing them away. I wanted to know why they were monsters and if I could be one too. My thoughts were dark enough to qualify.
Nobody saw the vein of black icy granite running through my otherwise sterling shell. That’s all I really was. A shell.
I went to school and got straight A’s. I made the honor roll every semester. I volunteered. I was captain of the fucking cheer squad for god’s sake. I even applied to Dartmouth as Papa instructed. I got accepted and I was ready to start in the fall after graduating high school as valedictorian.
Still…
