Bwahhahahahahahaha
2
Two hours later, Paige had made herself at home in the kitchen and was cooking up a storm. As best she could, anyway, considering Oliver’s pantry was as sparse as the interior design. Old Mother Hubbard had definitely had more in her cupboard! But she loved tomake art with foodas her father called her rather freewheeling culinary style and with Instagram folders full of recipes and the entire purpose of the exercise to make as much mess as possible, she was improvising her ass off.
Today’s T-shirt loudly announcedculinary ninjaand Paige was working that vibe.
She’d scraped together enough ingredients to make a rudimentary flourless chocolate cake which turned into cupcakes because there wasn’t a normal cake pan to be had. They were currently in the oven and the Rice Krispie slice which she’d added melted mini marshmallows to – because they were apparently deemed necessary pantry items but flour was not? – was setting in the fridge.
A bowl with some beaten eggs, sugar and cinnamon stood at the ready to transform slices of frozen white bread into delicious French toast as soon as Oliver decided to get his ass out of bed.
The debris from her endeavours littered every white marbled surface from the sink to the oven and on to the breakfast bar. Bowls, cups, saucepans and trays of varying sizes competed for space with used cutlery and discarded utensils. Plastic wrappers and ingredients she hadn’t yet put away vied for space with various spills she hadn’t bothered to clean.
A splodge of milk, a streak of egg yolk, a couple of big old coffee rings. A light dusting of gourmet cocoa powder on both bench and floor joined a scattering of Rice Krispies. For that satisfying crunch underfoot.
Had it been her parents’ or anyone else’s home she’d have been mortified to have plunged their kitchen into such a state but it wasn’t and the mess in front of her just represented a job well done. Quickly, she snapped a pic of the detritus and admired the utter chaos of it all as she flicked it to the group with a before snap she’d taken prior.
Just Desserts WhatsApp Group. 08.30GMT.
Paige
Now that’s more like it
Considering it was the middle of the night in the US, Paige wasn’t expecting any replies just yet so she slipped the phone into the back of her charity flares that were so intensely fluorescent yellow they should have come with a pair of those solar eclipse sunglasses.
‘I reckon it’s time we kicked this up a notch, don’t you, Flower?’
Surveying the scene from his cage placed in front of the massive window on the kitchen bench, the hamster didn’t seem to have an opinion. In fact, he seemed much more interested in the view on the other side, not that Paige could blame him. The dark green thrash of the ocean and the heavy blanket of storm clouds hanging above were ominously immersive. It must surely seem like some kind of climate change documentary playing out on an IMAX screen from Flower’s point of view. The animal may have been large but it was utterly dwarfed by the roiling seascape.
Paige’s phone pinged a notification and she pulled it out of her pocket to discover that at least one of her new friends was still awake.
Bella
OMG! Has he seen it yet?
Paige
No. Think he must still be sleeping.
Bella
Yeah… he’s so not an early riser.
Paige
Well, do I have a surprise for him
Bella
lol, what??
Paige
I feel a musical awakening coming on!
Bella
Yes! Do it!!