Page 7 of Shelf-Made Man
“That’s not?—”
“But I was taught that Occam’s Razor is generally a good guide.”
Alfred shook his head. “I do not know him.”
“It’s a heuristic, not a person. It says that when there are competing hypotheses, the simplest one is usually more accurate.”
“I see.” Alfred furrowed his brow. “And what are your competing hypotheses now?”
“I already told you one. It’s pretty complex. The other possibility is that the elf doll Aunt Virginia gave me has somehow come alive.”
That didn’t sound any more plausible out loud than it did in his head, but then, the complex possibility made no sense at all.
“Doll?” whispered Alfred.
Might as well spit it out. “My aunt gave me an elf doll. I think it used to belong to her wizard husband. I put it on my shelf yesterday, and now here you are, and it’s gone, and you look exactly like it did, including even a hurt leg, and Jesus this is insane but I honestlythink it’s true and I’ve never heard of anything like this and I don’t know what to do!”
That was more like barfing than spitting it out, and Tobias had to pause to catch his breath.
Alfred, meanwhile, had gone incredibly pale. He worked his mouth as if he were trying to say something but couldn’t find the words, then let out a gasping sort of sigh.
“I’ve been transferred,” he said.
And fainted dead away.
Chapter
Four
“This is very good tea.” Alfred attempted a smile.
Tobias had propped him up using several pillows, and Alfred was able to hold the cup himself, although his hands trembled. At least he’d regained some color in his cheeks, and now that Tobias had tucked a blanket around him, his bruises and bandaged leg weren’t visible.
“It’s my favorite oolong.” Tobias had brewed a mug for himself too, hoping the familiar beverage would steady him. It had achieved only limited success, and his mind still felt like that trippy tunnel scene in the old Willy Wonka movie.
“I am sorry I called you a troll. I was terribly rude. It’s only… you’re very large and so are trolls, and I assumed…. Well, I apologize.”
Tobias had long since gotten over feeling offended; he had bigger fish to fry. Like the fact that therewas an elf in his bed. He was finding it surprisingly easy to accept the situation, maybe because it was better to believe in elves than to fear the loss of his sanity. He smiled at Alfred. “So trolls are real. The under-the-bridges trolls. Not the obnoxious online trolls; I knowtheyexist.”
“I’m not sure what you’re talking about, but yes, trolls are real. They’re dangerous, and many of them are in Snorkel’s employment.” Alfred shook his head slightly. “I should have known better. You’re much more handsome than a troll.”
Feeling his cheeks heat, Tobias tried to stay focused. “Who’s Snorkel?”
“It’s Snjokarl. S-n-j-o-k-a-r-l. And he’s….” Alfred shuddered so violently that Tobias thought he’d spill his tea.
“Hang on. You’re still pretty banged up and I think you’ve had a major shock. Hell, we both have. How about if I get you something to eat and then you take a nap? We can talk later.”
“You’re very kind. Thank you.”
The blush intensified. “Okay, what do you want?—”
“Wait. Please, am I safe here?”
“I’m not going to let anyone harm you.” Tobias was surprised by the intensity and truth of this statement.
Looking slightly relieved, Alfred set his free hand on Tobias’s knee. “But areyousafe, my friend?”
A serious question called for a serious answer, no matter how distracting that hand was. “I’m clearly clueless about whatever’s going on with you andprobably about a whole lot of other stuff too. But this is my home, so it’s as safe as any place can be, and I’ll do my best to keep it that way.”
