Page 20 of Consumed
“No. I don’t believe… what my parents believe. I don’t think everything is a sin. But every time I think about doing the stuff my parents disapprove of, I just feel uneasy. I know that’s stupid.”
Isaac shook his head. “I don’t think so. But you did escape them, yeah?”
“The week of my eighteenth birthday. Ran off, got a job—I was strong then, so it wasn’t too hard—and never looked back. Haven’t spoken to them since.” Sometimes he wondered about them, and about his many siblings. But he knew they’d hate everything about him, and that was more than he was willing to face.
“Without the Bureau, I would have kept on partying, sleeping around, doing dumb shit. Bouncing around from one minimum-wage job to another and getting fired ’cause I showed up late or not at all. What do you think would have happened to you if you hadn’t joined up?”
This wasn’t a question Con had ever considered. His life had gone down a particular path and he’d followed it without looking at alternatives.
“Well, I wouldn’t have orc bites.” He paused. “But you know, I might have messed up my back working the road crew, I guess. It happened a lot.”
“Would you have been happier, you think?”
Con found himself shaking his head. “No. I know you hate the training, and nobody but me wants to hang out in the Antarctic, but I like it. I feel like I’m doing something worthwhile, I guess.” Huh. He’d never consciously realized that.
“I’m happier too,” Isaac said. “Man, my parents kinda flipped when I signed up.” His voice went falsetto. “No, son, you’ don’t want to work for The Man! You can’t do that!”He laughed and then continued in his normal voice. “They came around eventually. Do you think yours would?”
“No fucking way.”
That made Isaac laugh—and Con too. Swearing felt surprisingly good.
* * *
After dinner they returned to the hotel, where Con settled in with his laptop. It wasn’t all that comfortable for him to work propped up in bed, but the alternative was to find a spot somewhere else in the building, and he wasn’t in the mood to wander. After two days of travel, it felt better to remain in their cozy little room, where he could occasionally look out the window at the lights in the valley below.
“You know, you could borrow my laptop and write up today’s notes,” he said.
Isaac, who was flipping through his art book, laughed. “I’ll leave that exciting task to you.”
“Maybe if you practice you’ll get better at it.”
“I’m absolutely willing to remain inept.”
Con sighed. “Good note-taking is essential. It helps build cases and maintain clear records of—”
“Yada yada. Iknow. Not my gig. Hey, what do you want to do tomorrow?”
Deciding not to point out the obvious subject change, Con replied, “I have no idea.”
“Think of it like a mini vacation, dude, only it’s on the Bureau’s dime. The weather’s not blazing hot yet, so we could do some outdoor stuff. There are several pueblo ruins in the area. Or we can go hiking. I bet there’s some great trails around here.”
Con pictured himself stumbling along a steep, rocky slope. He wouldn’t last long, and he’d be in pain. “Can’t,” he said, gesturing at his legs. “But I don’t want to spoil your fun. Go ahead without me.”
Isaac looked chagrined. “Wouldn’t be fun by myself. What do you do during your time off? Please tell me it’s not rearranging spreadsheets.”
“What if I enjoy rearranging spreadsheets?” Con relented a bit. “I don’t really do much. I swim. I read. Sometimes I go to the movies or a performance of some kind.” That was always good because it meant sitting in the dark, other audience members focused on the stage or screen, his scars unnoticed. He didn’t mention how he liked to haunt secondhand shops. That felt a little too personal.
“There’s probably a movie theater in Prescott or Sedona. We could see what’s playing. Or…. I know! There’s gotta be a place where we could go swimming. There’s a river down in the valley. I’ll ask at the reception desk.”
Although it was flattering that Isaac was going to so much effort to please him, Con shook his head. “No bathing suits.”
“Walmart.”
“I don’t….” Darn, this was hard. “I don’t really like other people seeing… me. At home I have my own pool.”
Isaac closed the book and shifted on his mattress to gaze more directly at Con. His brow was furrowed, but not in anger. He seemed to be trying to understand. “It really bugs you that much?”
“Yes.”
