Page 18 of The Golem of Mala Lubovnya
Chewing his lip, Emet tried to frame his words carefully. “In the Song of Songs, they loved each other with their souls. But I think maybe… maybe it’s possible for a creature without a soul to love. When I heard you singing yesterday, it was as if something stirred inside of me. A heartbeat with no heart. Is that what love feels like?”
“Love feels like a heavy stone in my chest, so heavy I can’t breathe. But oh Blessed Lord, I can’t live without that stone.”
Jakob turned at last. His eyes glittered with unshed tears, and his hands opened and closed at his sides. “It’s a transgression as great as murder, Emet.”
“Love is a transgression?”
“I want to be a righteous man! I do. But I can’t… I want you, Emet. I dream of you. I ache for you.”
“Then lie with me, Jakob. Please.” It wasn’t only love that made Emet beg, and not only his desperate need to be touched. It was also the knowledge that his time with Jakob was short. The house would be finished. The duke’s men would attack—or the duke would see reason, and Rabbi Eleazar would have no more need for a golem. It felt so unfair to be given such a short time in such a big world, but Emet wouldn’t complain if he could only be close with his beloved just once.
Jakob threw himself so heavily against Emet that Emet rocked back a little. But he didn’t mind, because now they could embrace, and now Jakob could rub his whiskers against the skin of Emet’s chest. “Oh,” Jakob moaned. “You feel soreal.” Jakob felt real too—solid and warm and more precious than any jewel.
Somehow they ended up lying on the green rug, their limbs entangled. The air was far too cold for Jakob to undress completely, but Emet happily removed his own clothing and let Jakob explore his body with rough fingers and soft lips. “Do I look like a real man?” Emet asked.
Jakob smoothed his palm over the letters inscribed on Emet’s chest. “I’ve never seen another man naked. You’re beautiful. But there are a few differences between us.”
“Can I see?”
“All right,” Jakob said, smiling.
Emet’s large fingers were clumsy on the buttons of Jakob’s coat and shirt, but eventually he managed to get them undone, and then he pushed the woolen undershirt up to Jakob’s neck. Jakob’s chest was muscular, with a triangle of dark hair. He gasped when Emet tentatively touched a thumb to a small nubbin of flesh. “I don’t have these,” Emet said, glancing down at his own blank chest.
“Nipples. They don’t serve any purpose to a man. But… oh. That feels nice.” Jakob writhed slightly as Emet gave each nipple a gentle pinch.
Emet was missing other parts as well. He had no navel, although Jakob did, and Jakob liked it when Emet dipped the tip of his tongue inside. A few minutes later, Jakob discovered that the cleft between the cheeks of Emet’s ass was uninterrupted. Jakob unbuttoned his trousers, pushed them down, and showed Emet the tight little rosette between his cheeks. “May I touch it?” Emet asked.
“Yes. Please.”
So Emet did, first with fingers and then with his tongue. He loved the way Jakob tasted, loved the scratch of Jakob’s wiry hairs against his face.
Jakob spent a very long time playing with Emet’s cock. He seemed to think it funny that Emet was circumcised. As far as Emet was concerned, Jakob could chuckle all he wanted, just so long as he continued to stroke like that with his calloused fingertips. And when it was Emet’s turn to explore Jakob’s cock—the silky skin and turgid veins, the slick smoothness of the flared head—Jakob emitted a string of satisfying grunts and groans.
“I’m not sure how to do this,” Jakob said breathlessly. With his clothing still on but badly askew, he lay atop Emet’s body.
Emet was so lost in sensations he could barely form the words to answer. “I think… think you’re… doing well.” If he had been capable of further speech, he would have told Jakob a golemdidneed sustenance after all, that every bit of contact between Jakob’s skin and his was a delicious mouthful of a wondrous feast. But maybe Jakob knew this anyway, because he kissed Emet ardently and tried his best to touch every inch of him.
Emet’s hand was bigger, softer; Jakob’s was more clever. Both hands wrapped around the shafts of their cocks, pressing the lengths together. It was a far better thing than Emet’s solitary touch as he lay alone in his attic. He tingled from head to toe and no longer felt the cold. Jakob cried out his name, and for a few endless moments, Emet was no longer a creature sculpted from clay but was instead a man of flesh and blood. “Emet!” Jakob shouted again, his voice ragged and hoarse, and hot liquid sprayed their bellies.
Their movements slowed. Jakob collapsed, still half atop Emet, and Emet pulled his new cloak over them both. Jakob nuzzled his face into the crook of Emet’s neck. “God hasn’t struck us down yet,” he murmured. “But if he does, I think it was worth it. You’re worth it.”
Emet smiled and held him close. For the first time, he felt truly alive.
