Page 28 of Creature
“No,” Harry said bitterly.“I applied—that was my dream—and they turned me down. But thenTownsend said he’d give me another chance. If I help them nailSwan, I get to be an agent.”
“That’s wonderful! You canfulfill your ambition.”
Harry scowled. “Right. It’s all peachy keen.Townsend gave you to me to use as bait, so I can convince Swan toadmit what he’s up to. I’m supposed to offer you to him. Some kindagoddamn prize for Swan so I get the evidence the Bureau needs.” Hishand reappeared, and he rubbed his palm down his mouth and chin.“Two days from now.”
John’s existence in the cell had beensimple. Not better—definitely not that—but uncomplicated. He hadhis patch of sunlight, his fragments of knowledge unmoored frommemory, the name he’d given himself. He had almost no choices tomake, and his emotions were largely limited to misery and anguish.Now, though, his swirling feelings made him so dizzy that he wasgrateful to be sitting. How was it possible to feel so many thingsat once, many of them in direct conflict with others? Is this whatit was like for real people, and if so, were they able to endure itmore gracefully?
“Two days,” was all Johncould say, although the timeframe was hardly the point.
Suddenly Harry twisted around and graspedJohn’s shoulders, allowing the blanket to fall to his waist. “Go.Put your shoes on and just get the hell out of town. You can takethe car.”
“But… yourplans.”
“Townsend’s plans, notmine, and he can fuck himself. I’ll find a way to get what he wantsout of Swan. I don’t need to drag you into this.”
John allowed himself a moment to seriouslyconsider Harry’s offer, but he found no promise in it. “Where wouldI go?”
“Anywhere. I’ll…. Theygave me some cash. It’s yours. You’re really smart. You’llmanage.”
“I don’t know anythingabout the world, not really. I doubt there’s a place in it forsomething like me. And what about you? The Bureau won’t be happyyou let their property get away. They won’t give you ajob.”
Still holding John’s shoulders, Harry made afrustrated growl. “I don’t care! Townsend was probably lyinganyway. Once this thing’s over, I bet he planned to cut me loose.He doesn’t really want me. Anyway….” Harry let go of John and movedback slightly. “I don’t want the goddamn job if it means sendingyou back to those bastards.”
Oh.
Something enormous insideJohn shifted. Ithurt, yet he felt immeasurably more whole. More real.
“You care about me,” Johnsaid softly.
Harry let out a long breath. “Yeah. Guess Ido.”
“That’s…. I never hopedfor anything so precious. Thank you. I wish I could express what agift you’ve given me. Will you believe me when I tell you—eventhough I’m a monster—that I care for you as well? Does that offendyou?”
“I believe you,” saidHarry, eyes shining.
Moving slowly so as not to spook him, Johnraised his arms and settled his hands on Harry’s shoulders, amirror of Harry’s recent touch. The shoulders were bare, thelightly tanned skin warm, unscarred, and perfect. Harry didn’t pullaway from the contact, although his breathing grew a trifle rougherand a rosy flush spread from his cheeks down to his chest.
“If I run,” John said,“the Bureau will hunt me down and find me, won’t they?”
“I don’t—”
“Please behonest.”
“Y-yes. I think theywill.”
John nodded. “I won’t spend my limitedfreedom as a fugitive. I’d prefer to spend it with you.”
“Even if it’s only twodays?”
“Yes.”
“I… I can ask Townsend….Explain things. Tell him how you really are. Maybe he’ll listen andlet you go.”
John had seen the way Townsend looked athim. No possibility of sympathy there. He lifted one hand and verygently stroked Harry’s cheek. Rough bristles and soft skin. Harryleaned into the caress. “Perhaps when you are an agent, you cancome visit me in my cell sometimes. I’d like that.”
“John—”
“No. We can’t change whowe are or the circumstances under which we find ourselves. Butperhaps we can find some happiness in what we do have. Happiness issuch a valuable thing, John. We shouldn’t waste it.”
