Page 113 of Sticks and Stones
“I would have, but I was naked with my man,” she said. “You know…enjoying our day off before you nearly killed the four of us.”
He laughed.
“Oh, no, I interfered with Chris’ shenanigans. I’m a horrible human being,” he joked.
Chris hugged him, and then went there since it wasn’t a heart attack.
“Don’t worry. She didn’t put panties or a bra on. I’ll have my fun later in the chapel,” he teased.
That was all he had to say.
Fornication in a church with no panties on?
Oh, Jesus.
Charlie gasped.
“Elizabeth Renee LaRue Leonard!” he said, staring at her. “Your mother just rolled over in her grave! Where are your britches?”
She snorted.
“That’s your big concern? Not the fact that Sam and I are making you eat bran and give up pork? Not that you’re never seeing bacon again?”
Well, yeah.
His daughter was always his concern.
“Don’t worry. I’ll eat that hippy-shit granola with nut milk to make everyone happy.”
Sam held out his hand, and they all dropped a twenty into it. Elizabeth had to take Chris’ wallet out of his pocket because she didn’t think to bring her purse.
Chris was amused.
Charlie was not.
“Betting on me now?” he asked.
Yes, yes, they did.
Chris could see that Charlie was going to be perfectly fine. He looked better now that his family was there, and there was amusement over the bet.
No one was dying today.
“I’ll go get her go-bag. Oh, and some bran flakes for Sam to feed you. They’re tasty. Almost as good as granola.”
Charlie just shook his head.
“You leave my colon alone, Son. I have other issues going on. I planned on leaving this earth with all of my organs, and now I’m about to be one short.”
Sam was holding Charlie’s hand.
“Well, you won’t be able to eat bacon anymore without a gallbladder,” he stated.
Charlie looked at him.
What was this poppycock?
Surely, that was bullshit.
