Page 358 of Sticks and Stones
He ran his thumb over Ethan’s lower lip.
“Really. Do you want kids, EJ?”
That was a damn hard question to answer. Where did he even begin?
Before Gene, absolutely not.
Now…
He wasn’t sure. Blackhawk had learned that he could trust the person he was with, and he knew Gene would be an amazing father.
“I don’t know. I don’t know anymore.”
Gene was honest.
“You’d make an amazing father.”
He nearly laughed.
Ethan had just thought that about Gene.
“You don’t give yourself enough credit, EJ. You’re a good person, and you care. You went out of your way to help Corbin today. I’ve seen you talk to children who have witnessed horrible things. Remember the stripper we encountered out West, and you gave her your business card?”
He nodded.
“I checked in with my friend. You’ve been in contact with her. You’re not nearly as cold as you think you are. You’re the best person I know.”
Ethan hated that he struggled with the littlest thing.
“Do you ever get exhausted about how emotionally draining I am?” he asked.
Gene stared into his eyes.
“Never because you’re not emotionally draining. You, my handsome, sexy, amazing man, are an adventure, and I’m having the time of my life.”
Ethan wanted those words to be true.
“I’m going to be honest, EJ, because I know that’s what we built our relationship on.”
He waited.
“We can’t have kids like anyone else. I’m a bear. I don’t have a uterus, and neither do you. So it’s not a problem. We’re not accidentally making a kid. So we have nothing to worry about. If one day, we decide to, we’ll deal with that. For now,we’re too busy with our lives, and in danger on a good day. I won’t bring a child into that. I’d hope I wouldn’t.”
He put his head on Gene’s shoulder, and just watched the snow fall.
“I love you, EJ. We’ll navigate everything if you just breathe and let me know what has you scared.”
Turning his head, he left a kiss on Gene’s neck.
“I’m scared because for the first time in my life, I’d do it,” he said. “I’d willingly bring a child into this world or adopt one with you. That’s how much I love you. That’s how serious I am about us.”
Gene’s heart skipped.
And that was the biggest declaration of love that Ethan would ever be able to give him.
To trust him that much…
It meant everything.
