“No, Bri.”
“But think of all the?—”
“No. I’ll have to find another apartment and a job.”
“You know I would ask you to stay with us temporarily, but Carson wouldn’t?—”
I put my hand up. “I would rather live on the street than share a space with him.”
“That’s hurtful, Jenna.” She pouted.
“I’m sorry, but you know how I feel about him and how he feels about me.”
“I don’t know why you two can’t get along. I love you both, and this really hurts me.”
Suddenly, I could feel the vomit rising. Jumping up from the couch, I ran to the bathroom and hugged the toilet.
“Maybe you need to go to the doctor,” she said as she stood in the doorway. “You’ve been sick for a week. Could you be—pregnant?”
“Oh, my God. How could you even ask me that?”
“It was just a thought. Anyway, I have to go. I’m meeting Carson for lunch. Call the doctor. Maybe he can give you something. I’ll call you later.”
Pregnant? I swallowed hard. The thought never crossed my mind. Grabbing my phone, I sat back on the couch and stared at my period app, where I kept track of my monthly periods. The weeks passed so fast that I’d forgotten about my period. Usually, I was reminded every month by the painstaking cramps I’d get a couple of days before. But I hadn’t had any of that. I tapped the app, and sure as shit, I was late. But it had to be from the stress I was under. I was losing my apartment and my job. I didn’t know what I was going to do, and I was blowing through my little savings. I needed something to manage my stress, and maybe Bri was right about calling the doctor.
I was able to get into the doctor that afternoon after I told the receptionist I’d been throwing up all week, and I thought I was dehydrated. I may have exaggerated a little bit to get in. As I sat in the room and waited for the doctor to walk back in, I played a game on my phone to try and distract myself from the nervousness that riddled inside me.
“I have your test results back,” Dr. Levy said as he walked into the room and gave me a sympathetic look.
“I’m pregnant, aren’t I?”
“I’m afraid so. You’re about six weeks along. You have options, Jenna.”
“I know.” I looked down as I fiddled with my hands.
“I can give you the name of a good clinic if you’re interested.”
“I am.”
He took a small notepad from his pocket, wrote down the name of an abortion clinic, and handed it to me.
“If you decide to keep the baby, I suggest you contact your OB/GYN and start prenatal care.”
“Thanks, Dr. Levy,” I said, hopping off the table.
When I arrived home, I called Bri and asked if she would come over because I needed to talk to her. She thought she muted her phone, but she didn’t, and I heard every word she and Carson said. She told him I needed to talk, and she was coming over. He told her no and wanted her home with him because he planned to watch a movie tonight. I could hear the things he was saying about me, and it took everything I had not to go over there and kick his douchebag ass.
“I’m sorry, Jenna. Carson and I have plans tonight. I can come over tomorrow morning before work.”
“That’s okay. We’ll talk another time.” I quickly ended the call before she could say anything else.
I was pissed, hurt, and full of rage. I needed my best friend during this turbulent time in my life, and she couldn’t stand up to her controlling boyfriend enough to be the friend she needed to be to me. That was the final straw as far as I was concerned, and I wouldn’t try anymore. As much as I tried to make her see she was in a toxic relationship, she wouldn’t. But I would no longer be a part of it, so I considered our friendship over. I laid in bed all night and cried. I had no job, was homeless, and was pregnant.
The next morning, after tossing and turning all night, I pulled the piece of paper from my purse that Dr. Levy gave meand called the abortion clinic. I was completely shocked when the receptionist told me they had a cancellation and asked if I could come in at three o’clock. I agreed and tried to go about my day the best I could. Bri had sent me a few text messages, and I didn’t bother responding.
I saton the table in one of those hideous gowns as I swung my legs back and forth. Everything was happening so fast. I couldn’t call my parents or even go back home. They’d told me there was no coming back once I left, and I was no longer welcomed in their home or their lives because I was nothing but a disappointment. But they were wrong. They were the disappointment, not me. No parent should ever treat their child the way they treated me. I placed my hands on my belly. What the hell was I doing here? This wasn’t this child’s fault. It didn’t ask to be conceived, and I had no right to take its life away before it even began.
I jumped off the table and threw on my clothes. As I opened the door, the doctor stood on the other side.