Page 69 of The Sinner and the Gunslinger
“I know.” My eyes burn with tears. “You loved her.”
He nods. I feel his tears against my skin.
“Breathe, Zeke.” I stroke his hair. “Breathe.”
We move to the bed, and I tighten my embrace, coo soft words to him, and wish I could turn back time to the moment I was conceived. Without me, none of this would have happened. I know it’s a fool’s notion. A stupid one. But it’s there, dancing around the edges of everything I do.
“I’m so sorry,” I murmur.
I keep holding him until his breathing settles, all the while looking outside the tiny slit in the curtains, watching for danger. Nothing is outside but a half-filled parking lot, the night sky, and the urgency that we need to get out of here as soon as possible.
“What happened to Snuggles?” I ask.
Zeke is reluctant to let me go but clears his throat and straightens. He won’t look me in the eye, and I hope it’s just his embarrassment from letting his emotions out. I hope it’s not hate for realizing the pain in his life is all my fault.
“I carried it around with me for a while, hoping to draw the demon to me. After I thought you were dead, I still carried it. I think I tried to throw it out but couldn’t.”
“Is it here?” My eyes widen. Does he still have it?
“I left it at the abbey.”
I exhale. “That’s good. I think. I should probably warn the Rev in case it really is some kind of beacon for demonic activity.”
“I know where the helmet is.” He wipes his face and inhales deeply.
“That was why you pinched me.”
“Ludovic boasted about it when we argued. I accused him of lying. He said he almost has it. That it’s in a temple in the Carpathian Mountains.”
“That conversation... I didn’t realize you speak Romanian.”
“When I worked with Andrei, I often visited the country.” He gives a self-deprecating shake of his head and stares at the rosary in his fingers. “Do you remember the first time you changed yourone thing?”
“What?” I almost jolt from the sudden change in subject. I don’t know how to answer.
“You said you would go back in time and stop Vlad the Impaler from doing his thing.” He frowns. “I went to Romania thinking I could visit that castle and somehow be closer to you. That’s how I learned to speak it. You.”
Exhaustion sinks in, and I rub my eyes. “Raven said she saw Dracula in her vision.”
“So we must be on the right track.”
“We just need to get there before Asmodeus.”
“He can manifest demonic wings and teleport.”
I think about our odds. “Do you think he got the information from Ludovic’s blood?”
Zeke’s brows furrow in thought. “I think if it were easy to get, Asmodeus wouldn’t have given up attacking us for the chance to get to Ludovic. Maybe once the blood goes cold, he can’t read the blood.”
“What if he did?”
Zeke doesn’t move. He stares at his rosary beads with a vacant look.
I don’t know if this is a delayed shock, but I finally feel more like myself. I’m ready for action for the first time since this demon thing started, and I have no idea why. Thirty minutes ago, I was petrified, frozen stiff, ready to go to hell and face my eternal damnation.
But then Zeke was there. He acted when I couldn’t. He really was my man, my huckleberry in every sense. I have to believe that look in his eyes has nothing to do with regret for being with me. We’re a team. We work. We’re Wyatt and Doc, two halves of the same coin.
If he’s stuck, I’ll pull us both out.
