Page 47 of Sloth
Her lashes lifted. “Really?”
“I mean, I’m just saying, I’ll help you if you need it. I won’t leave you struggling like Tony. You need physical contact, right?”
“Yeah. Any touch between us resets my internal equilibrium. Constant contact keeps it that way.”
“Well, we can work out a schedule or something.”
She exhaled in a rush, shoulders drooping. “Oh. Okay. Thanks.”
Maybe he wanted more than a schedule too, but he wasn’t ready to deal with that just yet. He locked that emotion away in another box and hoisted Tony’s pack on his other shoulder. He staggered with the extra weight. The bag had protective gear and more weapons inside.
“Here,” she said, taking the bag. “We can hold it together.”
The bag dangled between them as they continued to walk. He’d seen Gale walk like this with his wife, except instead of the bag was a toddler. Max felt a simultaneous longing—both for his friend, and for a family of his own. The crew at Nightingale Securities were his family… but he wanted more. He yearned for more. Maybe it was all just a pipe dream. If a good man like Gale couldn’t have the dream, then a man who got dishonorably discharged sure as hell couldn’t have it.
Not long now.
After a while, he noticed the unsettled feeling in him remained. When he looked at Sloan, he could make out the line between her brows. Parker and Tony were right; Without her blocking out her feelings, the mission could be compromised.
“I think I have a way for you to select which emotions you project,” he said.
She stopped, pulling him back by the rucksack between them. “You do?”
“Don’t look so surprised.”
“I’m not. I just didn’t think you’d know much about this stuff.”
He shrugged. “I was taught how to compartmentalize my emotions.”
“Compartmentalize.”
“Yeah.” He tugged her onwards. “You visualize your emotions and painful memories, and then store them in a box. File them away for later use. It’s not recommended to use this system for your whole life otherwise you’ll end up an unfeeling robot, but for this situation, I think it can help.”
“Okay. I'm listening.”
“So… think of a box.”
“Any box?”
“Make each box different and relevant to the emotion or sensation you’re storing.”
“Any color?”
“Whatever is easier to associate that feeling with, Sloan.”
“Got it.”
“Now, every time you feel an emotion you want to store for later use, put it in the box. Keep your process the same, envision yourself closing up the box, and keeping it contained. Then distance yourself and put a routine in place that will help cleanse your mind.”
“What kind of routine?”
“It will have to be something you can do anywhere and do it quickly. Like, hum a song to yourself, or recite some words.”
She gasped, face lighting up. “Like a magic spell.”
He huffed a laugh. “Yeah, okay, like that.”
“Hmm. I’m going to use one from the Elder Scrolls.”
