Page 20 of Rhaz's Redemption
“I don’t know,” Neelu replied with apprehension in her voice. “It would be a big risk. He can’t lumines for anyone else. If he were to woo one of the unmated females, she might glow for another, and then where would he be? Lost and alone all over again.”
“It’s a tough spot to be in,” Drondia agreed. “I don’t know that I could risk that kind of heartbreak.”
The elder women moved onto another topic and I looked over the women I was with. Fatima was now watching Zander with a mix of longing and sadness in her eyes.
“He’s handsome, don’t you think,” Anusha elbowed Fatima gently in the side.
Fatima straightened and shook her head. “It doesn’t matter what I think. I’m waiting for luminescence to choose for me. I want a mate who is biologically wired to take care of me.”
“Why?” Anusha asked, confused. I’d had this conversation with Fatima countless times, but this was the first time Anusha had heard it.
“It’s just easier that way,” she sighed.
“Easier how?” Anush asked.
“I don’t know. It’s just that I’ve spent so much time taking care of everyone else in my life. I want someone to take care of me, but I also struggle with letting go of that control to actually allow anyone to do anything for me. It doesn’t help that in the few serious relationships I’ve had, when given the chance to step up, the guys I’ve been with have always disappointed me.”
“And you think luminescence is going to fix that?” Anusha asked.
Fatima cast her an annoyed look and turned the conversation on her. “What’s stopping you from flirting with him? You said he’s attractive. Why don’t you go over there and introduce yourself?”
“Eh,” Anusha shrugged her shoulders, unbothered by Fatima’s words. “He’s not my type.”
“Whatisyour type?” I asked. Anusha hadn’t really spoken much about what she’d want in a mate.
“I want someone who will make me feel safe,” she confessed.
“Safe?” Fatima questioned. “Any of these guys could keep you safe from the beasts in the forest.”
“No, not like that,” Anusha shook her head. “Safe…safe to be myself. Safe to unmask a little, you know?”
“I understand what you mean,” Fatima commented. “I never really feel like I can let go and be myself in relationships either, and I’m so tired of being disappointed when I do.”
“Yeah,” Anusha let out a sad sigh, and I turned my attention back to the cave entrance wondering about what could have been. Rhaz and I didn’t exactly have a friendship, but of the few times we’d spent time together he was easy to be around. I didn’t feel the need to hide any part of myself when I was with him. I’d never really know what a relationship with him would be like, but when I tried to imagine myself with anyone else, it just felt wrong.
I pushed those thoughts aside. I was young yet, and romantic love isn’t everything. Even so, I couldn’t help but wish for Rhaz’s safe return. No matter what we were or would be in the future, I’d always want him to be safe.
Chapter 11
Rhaz
CW: Descriptions of DV, descriptions of violence
The journey to the valley is one full day past Axon’s cave. It’s a long walk, but I wished it were longer. I had no desire to return to this place. My sire was a vile male, and many in his dekes followed in his footsteps in hating my shifter brothers and myself. What did we ever do? We were born different and for that they’ve feared us and hated us. They-
I stopped dead in my tracks when I came upon a couple kissing in the woods. The male was Favalor, Drovo’s younger brother, but I couldn’t see who the female was. She had long white hair, but that’s all I could gather from this angle.
The way they held each other made my heart ache. I held Beatrice like that briefly when her lips met mine. It was heavenly. It was… everything.
I clenched my fists as I remembered how her body felt against mine. She was soft and warm and…I couldn’t keep thinking about her like this. She filled my every thought and she wasn’t even here. If I had my way, she’d never be here. She’d never step foot in the valley. There were dangerous creaturesthat lived in the forest, but none were as dangerous as Dameron and his hunters. They had threatened our peace and happiness. They’d even gone as far as kidnapping Taylor from Brexl. And now I was here in hopes I’d help my sire see reason.
I pulled the leaf star she’d given me from my pack and traced the human word she’d written on it.Protection. She’d given me a gift and I’d given her a broken heart.You will regret the words you just spoke to me, she vowed, and she was right. I did regret them, and I would for the rest of my days, but I wouldn’t change what I’d done. She couldn’t be bound to a male like me, not now, not ever.
I placed the leaf star in my pocket and held my head up high as I walked through the forest to the valley.
I skirted past the kissing couple, and approached the walkway that traced a path between all the houses. People stopped what they were doing as I stepped out from behind the trees and into the light.
Drovo’s sire, along with Brexl’s grandfather, stood motionless as they took in my form. I did not wait for their invitation as I continued to walk down the path to the Savrix’s house, my old home. It was easy to pick out from the rest. Dameron had the biggest house in the village. He always had to have the best. He used to say it was for my mother, but I knew the truth. He wanted the biggest house because he felt he was owed that much.
