Page 12 of Rhaz's Redemption
“I CANNOT BE YOUR MATE!” I cut her off with a shouted proclamation that shattered me from the inside out.
She looked at me with shock and hurt in her eyes and gave herself a moment to breathe before responding.
Beatrice was a whole head shorter than me, but she filled the room as she straightened her shoulders and stared me down.
“Fine. I will not stand here and convince you to be my mate or to love me the way I deserve to be loved,” she glared at me. “If you wish to live in this sad reality that you’ve created for yourself then so be it. I will not stop you.”
She took a step closer and I had the strangest urge to cower before this short human. She held a command in her gaze that I’d not seen before and even the beast within me felt the need to yield to her power.
“But I will tell you this. There will come a day when you will regret the words you just spoke to me. You will grow old and gray without ever having raised your hand against another. You will live out your days without raising your voice in anger, not even once, and only then will you realize the life we could have lived. You will weep and long for days gone by, and despair when you realize you can’t get them back. Not a day, not an hour, not even a second of time will be returned to you.”
Her words hit me like knives and for the first time I questioned if it was possible for me to live differently than my sire had.
She turned and walked to the door, leaving me speechless in her wake. She stopped at the entrance and looked like she was going to speak one final time, but then thought better of it. She was done wasting her words on me.
Chapter 8
Beatrice
I walked out of Rhaz’s cave expecting to feel anger or rage or even disillusionment, but I didn’t feel any of that. An uneasy peace settled over me. Rhaz had made his decision. He wanted to live in the reality where he was a monster even though I knew he wasn’t. He carried an intensity within himself that could easily manifest as aggression or violence and yet he’d never raised a hand or even his voice to anyone here.
What was done was done. He’d made a choice and I would not waste my time or dignity trying to convince him otherwise. I deserved to be loved by someone who was willing to put their fears aside, and at this moment in time, that person wasn’t Rhaz.
I walked to the ledge that opened up to the outside of the mountain that many of us had dubbed as lover’s lane and I sat and watched the sunset over the trees. In a few hours all the normal emotions that were required for a moment like this would come crashing down on me. I would mourn the loss of the future Rhaz and I would never have. I would be angry at him fornot loving me back when I could see the affection he has for me in his eyes, but for now, I would sit and feel nothing. I would release this pain, this unspent love back into the universe from whence it came and pray that it would find its way back to me someday. This hadn’t been my plan but I could accept it. I could move on.
The next morning I woke up with tear stained cheeks, a heavy heart, but a refreshed spirit. I didn’t know why losing a love I never really had hurt so much, but I had to admit Rhaz had a different charm to him then the rest of the guys here. His place in my heart had been more cemented than I’d even realized.
“Are you ready for our trip?” Fatima sat up on her bed which was next to mine with a bright smile. She told me, that her life on earth had been filled with travel, and she longed to see more of our new home world, but she was waiting for luminescence so she could experience it with her mate.
“Mostly, yeah.”
I’d packed some supplies in my bag last night but stopped when that wave of emotions finally hit me.
“Hey, are you alright?” She turned to me with concern in her eyes. I’d never been particularly talented at hiding my feelings. I might be a quiet person, but my facial expressions have always been very loud.
“I’ve been better,” I admitted truthfully.
“What’s wrong? What happened?” She got up and put an arm around my shoulder as she sat next to me on my furs.
“I, uh, I had a conversation with Rhaz yesterday. It didn’t go well,” I admitted.
“That mother fucker. Did he say something rude to you?” She balled up her fist and scowled at the door leading to the main cavern.
“No, he wasn’t rude, he was just honest. He told me we’d never be mates even though luminescence had chosen us for each other.”
“He what?! But that doesn’t make any sense!” Fatima questioned.
“He has his reasons,” I offered.
Fatima opened her mouth but I cut her off to say, “reasons I do not wish to discuss right now.”
She closed her mouth again and sighed.
“I’m so sorry. I can’t believe he would reject luminescence.”
He rejected me. I wanted to correct her but I knew there was no point. Luminescence and love had become so intertwined in her mind that I doubted she would see the difference.
“Come on. Let’s get some breakfast,” she encouraged. “I’ll ask if they can make you some pancakes even if it’s not on the menu today.”
