Page 33 of The Banished Bride
His body was all of sudden like a block of ice, its touch chilling her to the very marrow. Suppressing a shiver, she jerked away. Her head turned to stare into the black shadows so he could not see the look of utter desolation that quivered on her features, or the tears that threatened to spill down her cheeks.
Alex had a wife!
No doubt it was her love letters tucked away in his bag that he had been guarding so zealously. And the book! No wonder he had been angry. The book was no military code—it was really meant for her, too. Or rather, the two of them. He used it to remind himself of all the delectable things he meant to do with her when he finally returned home from the sordid business of war.
Aurora bit at her lip so hard she nearly drew blood. Of course he had a home. And his wife was there, ready to welcome him from the battlefields, ready to cook his meals, wash his shirts and warm his bed. Lord, he probably children as well, eager to pull at his long legs and tickle his chin.
Somehow the thought of a dark haired little boy or girl with sapphire blue eyes and a crooked smile was almost too much to bear.
He had a real home and a real family. She had neither.
How could she have been such a bloody, bloody fool!How could she have been gulled into thinking Alex was different from other males. And how could he have led her to believe she was more than just an amusing diversion during a rather grim mission? Now that duty was done, it was clear he was quite ready to put all thought of it—and her—out of his mind. The heartless wretch!
It seemed she needn’t have searched so hard for adjectives to describe him, for the usual ones would suit quite nicely.
Selfish. Manipulative. Philandering.
Well, it would not be the first time a man had taken advantage of her. As on the previous occasions, anger gave her the strength to shore up her crumbling heart.
“Aurora—” he began hesitantly.
“If you think you must offer some flowery apology, don’t bother,” she said in brittle voice. ”After all, what does it matter?”
“I never lied to you.”
“Oh, quite right, sir.” Her voice was sharp with sarcasm. “You took great care that such an accusation could not be laid at your door.”
Alex reached out but she stiffened at the first graze of his fingers and shifted to avoid his touch. In some confusion, he let his hand fall away. “I’m sorry,” he faltered. “You must believe I never meant to hurt?—”
But he had!
She wanted to bury her head against his shoulder and drown her pain in a flood of tears. She wanted to wrap her arms around his waist and have him fill the aching emptiness inside her. She wanted to take his face between her hands and have him tell her he …
Instead, she forced a harsh laugh to interrupt his words. ”I can hardly castigate you, sir, for your infidelity. After all, I am also just a common adulteress, so we both should be ashamed ofour actions tonight. But perhaps such an inconvenient emotion goes away with practice. You would know better than I.”
She paused to draw in a ragged breath. “Tell me, does your wife know of your affairs? Or, like most females, does she simply accept it as the way men are? Perhaps she is content, as long as your occasional attentions leave her dewy-eyed and round with your child.” Hating the bitterness that had seeped into her voice, she bit off any further words.
Aurora heard him give a harried sigh. “It’s not like that at all. I?—”
She waited, but he didn’t continue. “You what?”
He still didn’t answer.
Feeling raw and awkward in her nakedness, she clutched one of the rumpled blankets to her breast and then stood up. “Good night, sir. I am tired and wish to seek some sleep. After all, both of us have had a trying day.”
He let her go,unable to wrap his tongue around any explanation that might give her cause to stay. Would she have thought any better of him had he admitted to the truth of his marriage? That he had used such solemn vows to gain his own ends, without a passing thought for the female who had been left trapped in the legshackle?
Not bloody likely!
And he could hardly blame her, for he wasn’t feeling much in charity with himself either, regardless of the fact that the circumstances of his nuptials had been none of his own choosing. In many ways, he knew he was no better than her own lout of a husband for shirking his responsibilities, even though it hadn’t been until she had made him see things from a different perspective that he had realized how damnable his own actions had been.
Turning onto his back, Alex stared up at the sooty, rough-hewn beams, a wry grimace causing his lips to purse.Hell’s Teeth!Now that he thought about it, there was something else he and her husband had in common. Neither of them had bothered to consummate his marriage before abandoning it for self-proclaimed freedom. It was an odd coincidence, but …
The thought was dismissed with a shrug. Of the two of them, he, at least, had made up his mind to seek some measure of redress for the injured party. His supposed wife deserved another chance at finding happiness, even if he did not. As soon as he got to London, he vowed his first order of business as the Earl of Woodbridge would be to see about arranging an annulment. With his new wealth and title, it should not prove too difficult. He doubted the Countess would have much of an objection, not when she was presented with the generous settlement he meant to provide for her.
Once he was free, truly free, perhaps he might hope ….
Might hope what? That Mr. Sprague no longer existed? Or that if he did, he could be convinced to grant Aurora an annulment? His lips compressed in grim line. Is that what he wanted? His breath came out in a ragged sigh. Lord, he hadn’t even begun to sort out his feelings regarding her, much less make any sense out of them. And in any case, he was rushing his fences.
