Page 57 of My Kind of Trouble
Completely unheeding to the reaction, Lola continued, ‘Plus, pining is overrated.’ She shrugged her shoulders excitedly. ‘I much prefer the rebound option. It’s true that the best way to get over someone is to—’
Noa sighed and cut Lola off mid-speech.
‘That’s just it, though. I don’t think any of this has anything to do with a rebound. If it did, I could get that from one of the other men here, but he’s different. And, whether it’s wrong or not, I guess I’m done fighting it.’
‘Hey, nothing that feels this right can be wrong. There is no timeline for any of this, and if you spend too long caught up on what you think you should be doing then you’ll miss all the good parts that are happening along the way, right in front of you. Stop letting how society says you should feel or behave dictate your decisions. And that goes for your brother, too. If he loves you, and Alex will truly make you happy, then he will get over it. And if he goes all pistons at dawn, like that scene inBridgertonwhen Anthony demands he and Simon duel, please just make sure you take a video so that I don’t miss it. A girl’s got needs.’
Lola was laughing and, though Noa pushed her shoulder, she couldn’t help but join her in her fit of giggles. ‘Ewww! Gross,’ Noa complained through her laughter.
This girl could rival Tes when it came to her grand speeches. Wiping her eyes, Noa hopped up from the bed and strutted over to the wardrobe with much more of a pep in her step now.
‘Anyway, what dress will it be?’
Lola scoffed, ‘Bitch, I appreciate the compliment, but if you think my ass was ever going to fit in any of your clothes, you should have gone to Specsavers, because that just ain’t happening.’
‘But I thought…’
‘I just wanted to hear all the spicy gossip and didn’t think you’d appreciate me demanding you spill the beans in front of Mr McHotty.’
‘That nickname’s sticking then?’
‘Like glue. I’ll write it on your wedding present.’
‘Right, that’s enough. Get out. I have better things to do,’ Noa said, pushing her friend toward the door.
Luckily, Lola didn’t protest but, winking at her from the half-open door as she left, she managed to quip back, ‘Damn right, you do.’
Noa knew that Lola was sure to become a permanent feature in her life going forward, and that she wouldn’t be able to get rid of her. But she knew in that moment, with a warmth blooming in her chest, that she would never want to.
Finding those easy female friendships was always a blessing, and one of the great joys of her life. Because they would always be each other’s army, there to weather any war. The ones to bolster confidence and provide a shoulder to cry on without question or expectation of more. Whether they are the easy friendships that come and go within the space of five minutes in the girl’s toilet stalls, or the ones to last a lifetime, Noa wouldn’t trade a single one.
She wasn’t sure she would have survived in her life without the women who had built her up, who’d been a safe place to land if she needed it. They had shown her the magic of platonic love, whether that be in endlessgroup chats or dorm rooms, bus queues or bar stools, she knew she was part of a community that simply couldn’t be replaced.
Chapter 34
Noa
Noa had a new plan. After an ‘everything shower’, and feeling more like herself than she had twenty-four hours earlier, she was determined to go through with it. Tonight, she would know what it was like to be with Alex Fletcher. Truly be with him. Not some quick drunken shuffle in the sheets when neither of them knew what they were doing. Tonight, she wanted to give it all up for him. The thought had static electricity thrumming through her veins with anticipation.
In the shower, she couldn’t think of anything else. The visual of what it would be like to have her hands tangled in his dark hair as he looked up at her with molteneyes from where he was buried between her legs meant she had spent the whole time fighting the urge to get herself off before he even arrived. God, she really did feel like a horny teenager when it came to him.
So, after sending off a text asking him to come over, she sat on her bed, a thrumming between her legs, and she felt nervous for the first time since deciding what she wanted and setting out to get it.
There was a rapping at the door, and she stood, quickly shuffling over to it.
‘Hey, come in,’ she said.
‘Is something wrong?’ Alex scanned her, again looking for any sign of injuries.
He tended to do that a lot, but just the feeling of having his eyes tracing over her set her body alight. The air in the room felt non-existent, and suddenly, all the confidence and bravado she had earlier slipped away as she took in his six-foot-two, towering form in the doorway. Her mouth was like sandpaper, throat tight as she struggled to choke out any words.
‘No. I… I… well… I…’
She shook her head and looked down at the floor. She needed to get it together. Why was it so hard to ask for what she wanted?
Maybe, because all we are taught as women is that we shouldn’t go after it, that our needs are less important or silly.
Or maybe, because the last time she had asked for what she wanted in the bedroom, she had been shut down immediately by her ex who liked to ‘keep things simple’. It was clear now that his ice cream flavour of choice was vanilla, and hers was raspberry ripple. Both very yummy and admirable flavours, but you can’t switch out one for the other. Thememory still made her feel vulnerable when she thought about putting herself out there and talking about sex.
