Page 49 of My Kind of Trouble
Mum:
I need numbers for Christmas dinner. Noa are you going to be back by then?
Ryan:
Mum it’s April!
Mum:
We are all in new territory here. How am I supposed to know how long this quarter-life crisis will last?
Ryan:
It’s all so Eat Prey Love of her.
Dad:
She can’t be expected to be gone that long or she’d be asking for a loan from the bank of dad.
Noa:
You guys know I’m in this group right? I could just leave if that’s easier for you to speculate about me.
Ryan:
Don’t worry, we have our ‘favourite child’ group specifically for that.
Mum:
You named it that.
Ryan:
You didn’t deny it.
Noa:
Ry, it never ceases to amaze me how you have space for a single other thought in your brain with an ego that size.
I’ll send across my flight details. We decided to prolong the trip, so we have a couple of weeks left in the Philippines and then we are heading home. ??
Ryan:
Did everyone here witness that? She definitely just called them ‘we’ and that was definitely a sad face. I am glad to see you guys are finally getting along!
Getting along was definitely one way to put it. Noa had replayed that night in Hanoi in her mind over and over the last several days, to the point where she was sure her thoughts were obvious for everyone around her to see. She didn’t think that she had the ability to hide them at this point.
The way his calloused hands had grabbed her, his firm grip making it feel like he owned every inch of her body. His warm, soft lips on hers, commanding sheopen up for him and kiss him with everything she had. And, boy, had she. She had melted into him, met his lips with abandon. It was exhilarating, a high she wanted to keep chasing with him.
But, in the several days since, she had felt a crash landing back to planet earth after her brother had sent her several texts to check in. She thought he’d likely sent them to Alex, too, because the guilty look he kept giving her had her questioning everything.
She wanted him. And he wanted her. That was all clear as day now. But was it enough to get past the huge roadblock that had always stood in their way? Was it enough to risk Alex’s friendship with Ryan? She knew she couldn’t be the one to answer that. She had tried to do what was right the first time, when she had considered her feelings for him a long time ago. She had taken the decision out of Alex’s hands and made it for him. She had tried to forget him and walk away. But she wouldn’t do that this time. She couldn’t. Maybe she was a stronger woman back then but, when she came home this time, she told herself she would be selfish and go after the things she wanted in life. That’s what her entire list was about at the end of the day. And the selfish part of her wanted him.
Then, there was the other part of her that couldn’t help but consider the fact that she hadn’t long broken up with Lucas. Only two months had gone by. She should be sad, shouldn’t she? She should be sniffling into tissues and vowing to never go near another man again. And yet, Alex didn’t just feel like another man. She felt safe around him, like it had always been her and him, but they had both just been too scared to see it. She didn’t know what that said about her relationship with Lucas, but she had always tried to believe that everything happens for a reason. And lately, every time she thought of Lucas, she didn’t feel sad. Just grateful for the goodtimes that they had shared and the lessons she had learnt from both their relationship and the breakup. So, she refused to let her brain overthink this, to talk her out of it again. She would not let fear dictate her life anymore. Life had given her and Alex a second chance, and she was determined not to waste it.
Deciding to put her busy thoughts to good use, Noa had been writing a lot over the past week. She’d found it a cathartic outlet to help her make sense of things. She used her own experiences to shape her characters and her storyline in a roundabout way, and she was enjoying the process. Alex had been right, travelling the world really did spark artistic inspiration in her. She just couldn’t help the words from flowing.
She kept the book he’d bought her close by at all times, because she didn’t know when an idea was going to hit and she’d have to quickly scribble it down. She still couldn’t get over how thoughtful he had been to get it for her. These small, meaningful gestures, like acts of service when she thought about it, were such a contradiction to the tall, dark, and broody-looking man that sat in front of her. He was an enigma in many ways. A riddle she wanted desperately to work out.
